Invincible

Last 2 years!!

2008-04-26T15:51:00.002+05:30

we always have fools and appearances against us!

2008-03-12T00:11:00.004+05:30

Seems like its quite a long time since I wrote something… actually in de meanwhile I never felt like to write anything.. may be urge for writing was just for time pass to me [:D].. n I don’t need to pass time anymore…coz finally MBA z over n m not unemployed now.. Life was good in college but man! 20 yrs of studying without any break.. imagine de monotonousness.. plodding… skool was ok!! 5 subjects in an yr… engineering 12 in an yr.. MBA 24 in 9 months.. every day when I woke up I didn’t knew whether I have to go for breakfast or its exam time.. exams were like meals n subjects like restaurants! You eat in different restaurants to change your taste but you can’t eat in restaurants for long.. 20 yrs!! phhew..

N see de irony.. I’ll be eating that dish for next 8-10 yrs which I never even tasted b4…lolz.. sorry.. m on diet so can’t restrain myself from talking bout food…thats a diff story…’ll write bout that later… what I meant by that restaurant food thing z finally I m doing something which I never studied.. Finance, balance sheets, profit and loss accounts...debt..asset..liabalities.. I didn’t even like de sound of their speech..

When I came to MBA college I didn’t knew whether I’ll be taking Marketing, Finance , IT ,Ops or SCM.. then I thought of election by elimination.. finance was de first stream to get eliminated.. I still remember every time I had to go to SBI with mom.. I always dozed off in that not-so-cozy sofa in de bank.. finally marketing was de only thing which was left by de end of summer training in Maruti’s SCM deptt.. n one fine morning in a stupid group project called mandi (street selling of educational toys) it came to my mind that may be sales ‘ll be more interesting for me as compared to marketing..

So out of 5 options available to me after de placement process.. I decided bank sales… n finally m in HDFC as business manager Working capital.. so if u own a company n you need cash credit, over draft, corporate loan, bank guarantee, letter of credit or any working capital facility..u know whom to contact [;)]..

One of the other offers I rejected wud have given me near bout twice take home salary.. some people may say money z all what matters.. I’ve seen many of my batch mates deciding their jobs based on salary rather than profiles of their interest.

But m happy… very happy indeed…m enjoying de work… safest path is not de best one everytime.. being opportunist z gud but every opportunity z not to cash... I decided to stick to something which really excites me…rest no one knows de future…time has its own twists n turns in store !!

Rest m reading Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophy nowadays…

“We immoralists! This world which concerns us, in which we have to love and fear, this almost invisible, inaudible world of subtle commanding, subtle obeying, a world of ‘almost’ in every respect, sophistical, insidious, sharp, tender: it is well defended, indeed, against clumsy spectators and familiar curiosity! We are entwined in an austere shirt of duty and cannot get out of it – and in this we are ‘men of duty’, we too! Sometimes, it is true, we may dance in our ‘chains’ and between our ‘swords’; often, it is no less true, we gnash our teeth at it and frown impatiently at the unseen hardship of our lot. But do what we will, fools and appearances speak against us and say ‘these are men without duty’ – we always have fools and appearances against us!”

Cold turkey!!

2008-01-30T21:12:00.000+05:30

Its been a long time since I wrote somethn funny in my blog…actually I was confused what to pen down n what not.. hav many stories n incidences… of fun…of depression…of dope…of love…of frenship…of confusions…of confession…but I guess I am not goin to write bout all this…. My lord…this all z effect of dope…don take it seriously…n if u do…as if I fuckin care!!

Hit me hard…
Hit me down…
I want to see myself bleeding…
I want to feel the fear
I want to feel the pain…

I heard love kills the pain and fear..
So I killed the love ..

You said.. somethin is missin in your life when m gone…
Hours are passing honey…let ‘em pass..
Let de feelings die..
Just a humble request…
don slow down de killin…
show me wrath…
I want to feel the fear
I want to feel the pain…

I don’t want to open my eyes…
Everythin is in black…
Its good you are gone…
I hate black n white…

I turned down de songs we listened together..
Now its your voice echoing in my head..
All de places we ‘av been
Give me a myth..
Of belongingness..
Of love..
I hate thinking bout you..
But thats all I could think of..

See you are getting old…
So m i…
I can see the wrinkles in your silky skin..
Glow z fading in you..
N life in me…
Still love z the same honey!

Make de web of an illusion…
Give me some marijuana n acids…
Let me love you…
Kill me by your own hands…
Let me die in your arms…

A truth..

2007-12-27T02:41:00.000+05:30

"Modern life is a journey by car. The Passengers
change terribly in their reeking seats, or roam
from car to car, subject to unceasing transformation.
Inevitable progress is made toward the beginning
(there is no difference in terminals), as we
slice through cities, whose ripped backsides present
a moving picture of windows, signs, streets,
buildings. Sometimes other vessels, closed
worlds, vacuums, travel along beside to move
ahead or fall utterly behind."

-Jim Morrison

C grade cheapo movie...

2007-11-09T23:14:00.007+05:30

Haw jee!! Haath haatao naa..yeh paap haai!!

Bhai nangu ghooma aane waale kai din..dragon jo dikhana tha...

Beer Baba!!

uu hain hamare hi-tech management coll ke hi-fi guard...shyam lal,chintu parsad aur ram khilawan...loaded with fully automated arms n ammunition!! par bole to darne ka nahi...insanon se bahut pyar hai inhe...yeh khaali guys(cow waali guys)ko rokte hain..aap bole to bindaas aao..naam bhi nahi poochenge...

uffffff...yeh ada maar hi daaloge...

Thakur sahab n gang..bhagwan tum sabka bhala kare..tumne ik gareeb ko panaah dee...stayed with these people during my summer trainin..
In ajeeb se dikhne waale sanki bacchon ke haath mein hai aapki zindagi..AIIMS compound ..n these guys r 4m India's 5th ranked King George Medical College...except 1.. gud for nuthin future manager(darr ke maare aankhein hi band ho gayi hain hamari

bhai ka sir khul gaya tha...gt 40 stitches...par always ready for fotuuu..kyunki kuch lamhe hamesha yaad reh jaate hain(2 ladkiyon ke kandhe mein hospital pahunche they)...say cheese!!

yeh hain us byk ke driver!!agle din singapur kat liye..2(keyword) of his legs were not workin properly...

if this z ugly...
to yeh kya hai??? uu hai PAAPI GUDIA ...Ramsey's forthcoming com-horrror...

ghayal jawaani meri sukhi sukhi jaaye re...

keep a check on de angle 4m next tym!! zamaana kharab hai

ab har fotuu pe comedy karoon kya?? dil to hamara bhi saaf hai...bhagwan ne aankhein hi aisi dee hain...koi kuch samjhta hi nahi!!

Ik haseena thee..

ik deewana tha...

hamar bachpan..

hamri jawaani..gaon ki saari zameen girwi rakhke ihaan mumbai aaye hain padhne khaatir...maan ne gehne beche to kapde aaye ...dost logo se kitaabein maangke raat ko bas imtihaan se ik din pehle street light mein padhte hain...your's truly...

hamar budhapa..

Prison Break!

2007-10-12T05:05:00.000+05:30

I wont say I don’t have anything to write but don’t have much to share.. you must be thinking as if it fuckin matters to you what shit I write here. Actually it doesn’t matter but one plays central character in his own story so even yours truly holds his birth right to feel as important as Mithun Da or Rajnikant in his story. Uprokt pankityon mein anapuyukt upma alankar ke prayaog ke liye ham tahe dil se samast mithun da aivam raknikant jee ke prashansakon se kshama ke prarthi hain… was just trying to put the simple fact effectively n that requires to quote a suitable example.

Shawshank redemption is just two n a half months away.. but I am no more counting days to break de prison n fly high .. actually m living very comfortably in this cell. I don’t think any prison can be as luxurious as ours.. separate cell for every prisoner with attached bathroom. Two lakes on both sides of de great prison.. one in-house pond.. greenery all around …de only problem is one n a half years period of punishment z bout to end.. sometimes I think instead of committing crime of getting into MBA college I should have done something worth in this precious time of my life.

But there is one thing I like bout this period ...’av got a lot of time here to do whatever I feel like doin...n most of them are things which I am sure I wont be able to do once I’ll leave this place…reading novels.. watchin 3 movies in a day.. basketball.. football.. drinking every single day(exception 15 aug n a local dry day in last module).. discussions(useless ones)..

Last two months were good because of many reasons..15 days trip to Lucknow ,Banglore ,Delhi ,Bareilly made me meet many of my old friends …I even met one of my first std classmate after 15 years.. trip to Lonavala was awesome too.. daaru waala part to bataya hi.. read some 10 novels …100+ movies… changed my hairstyle(though I look more stupid in short hairs)… but best part was I got rid of that evil to human kind…sometimes I think how beautiful were those old days when mobile wasn’t there.. parents,galfren,frens no one can track back if you don’t wish to.. ‘av regained my personal space n peace of mind..

Signing out!
Salaam Namaste!!

Splendid Memories..

2007-09-27T04:07:00.000+05:30

Psychotic!!

2007-08-13T03:54:00.000+05:30

I shall be doing my project right now instead of writing down some bullshit which I am also not very clear about.. but as a great philosopher (thats yours truly) has said “Its not the act but the time of its commencement which gives you satisfaction or adventure or fun whichever u are longing to derive”. Opportunity cost of this writeup (sounds gud…can’t call my puke yukk myself..) is the chance of standing in de lecture tomorrow facing that stupid prof’s idiotic quests which I am giving up by not attending his class.. so its not a bad decision I guess.. n now it doesn’t matter coz he already have plans for me :D… have attended 2 out of his 12 lectures…n he didn’t took attendance in those 2 classes.. so effectively m having zero percent attendance in a college which claims itself among top 10 B-schools n demands 75% attendance to sit in the exam.

Anyways.. chuck it!! Today m going to introduce you with a character which I guess ‘ll keep coming in my posts in future… Though he didn’t have any probz in putting his name in de blog.. I asked him to suggest a nick which I can use in de posts for de sake of anonymity…within seconds he told his choice.. n I wasn’t able to refuse his humble request.. so lemme introduce u to Mr Hugga Tea(HT)..

Well.. not his fault.. its de present state of being.. In coming days, we have decided to spent our time on Quality things only .. n our first research topic is psychotic personalities.. but everything requires a sacrifice.. Author must feel the character he z writing n an actor must feel the character he z playin.. ’av you ever noticed while watching a movie or reading a novel knowingly or unknowingly you start trying to correlate the characters with the real ones around you…n if movie’s main lead isn’t Mithun or RajniKant n novel’s author isn’t Ved Prakash Sharma …generally you are the virtual hero/heroine in de plot n de other leading character is de one you are presently fallen for[not your gf/bf everytime ;)] all de Romeo-Juliets don take it personally!!

Same is the case with HT.. if he should have asked me de nick of ma choice for his story.. it could be something like.. ‘khooni haiwan’ or ‘thirsty predator’ or may be ‘ganja guthli’ .. this heavy literature n psychotic movies are driving us crazy but at the same time I guess we are enjoying it..

Well.. I am not going to discuss our findings n my own feelings here.. there is another blog that I share with Mr HT n another fren of mine.. but that is more of a personal thingy n its written in very raw manner n without any censor so leave it… moreover as I said…people generally like stories which they can relate with themselves.. n its not that kinda story so most of you will not find it worth reading.. so lemme tell you de same topic in a bit sophisticated way(which I doubt :D)…

Leaving apart english movies as most of them have a strong plot (I wont say we Indians prefer imported stuffs..aaj hi chak de dekhi hai yaar..) lets talk bout Indian flicks .DDLJ is all time hit n Shabd(one of de best plot.. I ‘av ever seen in any Hindi movie) or Dil se(my fv8) are big time flops.. simple fact is most of us don’t like what we can’t relate with us or something which isn’t acceptable in our definition …here starts the territory of psychotic characters….

I am tryin to explain it in as simple way as I can.. But believe me its not so simple.. coz its not you…its not me(I guess… :D) . This whole stuff started with International Marketing lecture..

Prof: What do you think is the difference between animals and human being?
HT: Culture n society.
Me: Animals follow Instincts (not to him.. I like putting mute button on ma lips in class)
Few other guys shared their own views..
Prof (To HT): True..

I didn’t listened much of what he said later as I am not used to attending classes n if I do then too ma mind is somewhere else.. thinking bout some other place.. some other thing.. Few days back HT comes to me n a discussion started ..leaving the minute details lemme put de core of the discussion …

We are taught to behave in a socially acceptable manner. Definitions and culture may vary according to country, religion, cast etc. but in every culture there are certain defined or not defined rules or ways that most of us abide. Its not the same with animals. The difference between animals and human being is animals follow their instincts. Thats there method of survival which keeps them safe. When a child is born he don’t know he is beautiful or ugly, people tell him …your girl friend tells you how romantic you are …your teacher tells you are intelligent…n you make a perception of yourself…perception which isn’t yours actually…self image you can say…which you make with help of those around you..

You start actin accordingly…to make de image strong.. acceptance is de motive behind.. most of us don oppose something wrong even if we know its wrong coz people around us aren’t going to support de thought.. This kind of people are externally driven.. they need acceptance in every step of their life.. they derive confidence from support n acceptance ..majority of human beings falls under this category…

Then there are those who don’t need any acceptance.. they are the kinds who ‘ll oppose something if they think its wrong.. its not much a concern for them what others think about any issue.. these people are internally driven… there are few attention seekers too but don’t confuse them with de above kind ..they ‘ll oppose every thing…every damn thing to attract the attention…they don’t have depth in their thoughts..

There is one more type….they also don’t need any acceptance… rather they hate it.. its a fun for them to do things which are prohibited.. they are different from de attention seekers coz they don’t do anything to gain attention …they are different from internally driven people coz their deeds are not governed by de logic of right or wrong.. they are unpredictable.. you can’t guess what ‘ll be their next step.. Psychotic is de word.. They are not your friend.. they aren’t your enemy.. they are self obsessed ..they could be in love with themselves…or they may love hurting themselves..

either hate or love could be the driving factor.. they wont give a second thought to harm anyone.. extremities is what they love de most…They have very intense passion…it could be positive ..it could be negative.. but its always there for a sure.. they could be dangerous.. very dangerous indeed…

So next time you meet one of them…stay away!!
But I love such characters…I love psychotic literature.. I love psychotic movies…I heard... people like stories which they can relate with themselves ;)

2007-07-20T14:44:00.000+05:30

I am a rock,I am an island...

A winter's day in a deep and dark December-
I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below
on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow,
I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain,
I am a rock, I am an island.

Don't talk of love-
well, I've heard the word before, it's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died,
if I never loved I never would have cried,
I am a rock, I am an island.

I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
I am shielded in my armor.
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb,
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain and an island never cries

Serendepity...

2007-06-30T01:22:00.000+05:30

Last two months were just awesome...spent really good tym wth few old frens n few new ones...though endings are not always perfect but..

"I was nvr one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole is as good as new. what is broken is broken- and i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as i lived..."- Rhet Butler

Summers@Gurgaon

2007-05-03T04:03:00.000+05:30

20th april:

So here I am back again…can’t quote my bizzyness as de reason for not scribbling here in last few days.. schedule isn’t very busy but I am trying making it as much busy as possible. I don’t want to laze around doing nothing or watching movies… I am fucking bored with de routine schedule from last one year so when I came to Maruti Udyog Ltd for my summer training I was pretty excited…few of my really good coll time frens r here in Gurgaon n Delhi…new place…old frens…a job to do…everything sounds perfect!!

But why the hell...things don’t fall on the right places… starting with my summer project.. project is quiet important for Maruti .. didn’t knew it when I got to know about the project in ma college… but enthu of whole of supply chain division towards the project says so.. when rest of my frens are not getting the basic information they needed from their project guides.. our project guide accompany us to all the places we need to visit…deciding objective n strategic planning took 4 days.. n now when we are all set to go… we are not getting the fucking data we need .. reason behind-responsibility to provide data doesn’t fall under duty of any of the division …n scm people don’t have data we require… have u ever seen office-office … I didn’t knew even pvt firms have such a culture… our project guide n another guy took us to the IT deptt… their reply “we have stopped providing such confidential(lol)data without the permission of authorities.”

When we went back with permission letter …they told us it will take few days…they were not sure of count.. may be 5 …may be 20..meeting with Vice President of spares was more of a comedy session …that 50+ somethin man was not even ready to listen to our guide …meeting went for 2 n half hours without any result…I am damn sure he didn’t even had any hint by the end of discussion that what data is required so urgently… but it’t not his fault…I’av always believed in there are people who are always satisfied n happy with conditions n then there are those who are not…there is no third category ….he falls under second category… he received atleast 15 calls during that 2n half hrs period…n after listenin to de replies to all of those calls in his monotonous tone I was sure he’s not gonna help us out…

One more thing which I am not sure whether to pen down or not is about a sweet Chipkali! I saw her in our induction session on very first day in Maruti.. ours was a batch of 31 trainees 4m different colleges.. NITIE, FMS, MDI, IMT, SCMHRD, IIFT.. I was not interested in talking to anyone .. it’s not like I had friends from my college there that’s why…but last few years has changed me a lot…if this would be 2-3 years b4.. then I would be sorting out good lookin gals on priority basis …lol…still remember those days when we had a list n a plan of action ready for every situation…though it never worked out for me…I mean all de gals I had crush on.. they never came to know bout my feelings…I somewhere lack in taking initiatives in this field.. I just don’t like listening NO.. I tried changin myself a lot but all in vain… all such relations I have been through started by mistake…through common frens…with someone n somewhere I never expected…but now I am enjoyin ma freedom!!

Introduction started n my poor memory was able to retain only one name by de end of tht intro session ..obviously hers … believe me that was not intentional! induction session was of 2 days .I came to know there only…. after induction few have to stay in the plant n others have to go to different corporate offices.. n next moment I was checking out what she has to do… by my good luck she has to stay in plant only but our offices were in different buildings.. first day passed ...no conversation… when I came back next day I knew I just had 8 hours …plant visit was scheduled for first two hours of my mission… n that was the best opportunity to start a conversation… there I noticed her dashing walking style!! Lol.. she walks like a lil gundi!! Leaving the minute details of my observation during that period …just telling u …I wasn’t able to say a hi!.. but god knows how…when she was bout to enter in the class I heard a voice…. you 4m …. College?? I noticed it was my voice only…man!! that was moment of pride…after 2 days (actually after 22 years) finally I said hi to someone I really wished to… thnx heavens ! she replied back to my question… then few formal interview types questions…name college project n all…I knew the answers b4 .. I wished to ask r u single? But dropped the idea… our conversation lasted 2 minutes for a max n we were back to the induction room…I thought to sit next to her…but it could be embarrassing ….what if she change her seat?? What if she didn’t liked it?? N few more possible what ifs took me back to de back bench where I used to sit 4m de very first day of my skool life.

‘ll complete the story later.. m already dozin off…

3rd may:

well…just returned back from café coffee day..n its 3:30 am.. n I’av to be in my office by 8:45 am. Finally we got de data few days back n project is goin quiet fine. There’s a lot of work to be done tomorrow.. so again m not gonna complete de story…but telling u de latest development.. she has to complete rest of her project 4m Delhi corporate office…n I haven’t seen her since last one week ..we tlk once or twice a day thru ph.. as usual crush(sort of..) z over.. I got it after an hour of tlk…but she z sweet...

m really enjoyin this period n I hope it to not last soon… I don wanna go back to that MBA coll..

life here is just as I wished to it to be …frens, parties n all….’av joined a gym, now I drink liquor occasionally (once in a week or two), black coffee took beer’s place, though I still drag some 25 fags but this z de thing I would never wanna change, ‘av started reading again…n rite now m literally in love with Shantaram , ‘av finally put an end to few other stuffs which I don wanna discuss here…

When wish and fear are exactly the same
We call the dream a nightmare….- Gregory David Roberts(Shantaram)

Professionalism!!

2007-04-01T05:52:00.001+05:30

.

I just came across a site! www.myheritage.com ..You upload a snap and site scans it n tells which celebrity you look like…n I came to know my face resembles with Alizee…lol.. n my crush (obviously a gal) looks like Zayed Khan.. It also gives the percentage.. So your’s truly looks 67% like Alizee…But let me clear three things to all of you havin diff taste(not straight)..
1) I am perfectly straight
2) I haven’t shaved since last month.
3) I don’t look like Alizee

We 'av exams 4m tomorrow.. but I haven't started studying for the very first exam.. Anyways..chuck it!! I know you haven't visited my blog for gathering information about my preps..n if you are my batch mate then too it doesn't matter ...as I am not among the ones whose CGPA you are constantly monitoring for getting a reason to study a lil bit more!! Exams 'av always been an adventure for me. It’s a question of passing with minimum effort..it proves u r a smart worker!! I believe in competing against myself.. n mind u!! I am getting better after every single module!! School days were the worst. I used to study before two months.. Board exams preps took one month (opportunity cost: a hot babe I was following since 6 months)..Engineering was one night stand!! n now I can bet I am de most insincere student (smart worker: my terminology) in our whole batch.. Why to study all de topics?? If you can pass the exam by attempting half of the paper!! Though I never completed whole of my syllabus during any point of my educational life.. but there is a difference..I managed to pass with a descent score yet.. but now it’s a different case..

Management is global fart!! And you must know how to fart on every damn topic… if u are not attempting every single question or if you are putting your answers to the point.. that means you are incompetent!! You must know how to complicate the simple things and then to present ‘em in a manner which ‘ll give it a face of complex situation. This is the top management lesson!! This is the lesson which ‘ll earn your bread and ‘ll give you a reputation..

Fuck!! See even I am giving Gyan(fart)..

One more thing that I’av been observing here is the relationships.. Professionalism is the word they use!! Few days back one of my very good fren here described me what exactly it means.. He said “ When you ‘ll be working with any organization then you’ll watch there are guys who go through the simple route n then there are ones who shows exceptional growth.. It’s not like they are extraordinarily good at work or something.. they just act smart … they maintain good PRs with the concerned boss n they don’t consider anyone friend.. you ‘av to pull some one back to get ahead”. Then he explained the concept with some examples.. both of his ex-company’s n our college..

He was not wrong. I ‘av seen many such relationships here. You can’t say two people are friends if they pass 16 out of 24 hours together.. You can’t say two people are in love if they are having sex thrice a day.. But Best part is understanding!! There are couples who come out of their room (adjusting there fits)… with phone on their ears.. while talking to their gf/bf (permanent one.. )… guy goes to one corner ..gal on another…then again back to room.. no questions asked!! This is called professionalism!!

We often have discussion over this PR thngy..But...there is a problem with me.. I can’t talk just for de heck of it.. I just talk to those whom I like in some manner.. Its not like I’av any air of arrogance or I am shy or any such thin…but at least your frequency should match..I feel you always walk alone..then why to expect from others? You don’t take decisions with options starting with… if he/if she..

Yeah!! Few relations are worth.. n they are by your side irrespective of situations.. but they are not this hi/bye types professional PRs…

Sometimes I think .. I should also talk to few more guys in our batch.. make some so called PRs.. but then I think.. I’av some very good friends and …I am better this way only… life is good living at your own terms!!

Finding Neverland..

2007-03-21T20:01:00.000+05:30

I dream of Jeanie used to be the favorite serial of mine when I was in 5th standard. One blink of eyes and you are back to the past. I wished to have one such Jeanie to pass my exams. X-mas eve used to be the most awaited day at that time. Mom fooled us for years giving gifts in Santa’s red socks. We wrote demands one day in advance in a piece of paper n then used to keep it in the small temple in our verandah. I never understood the connection between temple n Santa but Mom said it is the same thing. There is only one God… just the ways to remember him are different. I believed her.

Now, neither I dream of Jeanie excites me nor X-mas eve gives me an adrenaline rush. Sometimes I think what is changed in me? Why don’t I feel excited in any of the damn thing? When I directed n acted in plays, “expressionless” was the word I used to call to the actors who didn’t act properly. Fuck ‘ol ..Now I can use the most hated word for any theatre person to myself.. that too in real life.. Expressions are lost somewhere .. Somewhere in the journey of life they fade into oblivion..

I still remember when we bunked school 7 days in a row for a cricket tournament.. We got suspended for a month from school and our pocket money got suspended for two months.. now I don even feel like going to the field. Yeah! I also had a collection of comic books ..some 1000+ comics were there in my library . There was a shopkeeper in a comic store. He never gave me proper time to search to add masterpieces in my library. He even denied giving comics in my hand before the purchase. I always believed in…HAR GALTI KI SAZA HOTI HAI..So I stole some 10 comic from his stall with the help of a friend.. Those were the days.. that sweet smile of my school time crush was more exciting as compared to fucking a hot babe now..

Neutrality z de present state of being…I hope its just a passing phase.. Now I am eagerly waitin for my summer training…to be in the company of my coll time frens …

I watched Finding Neverland few days back and I was back to the past for two hours…Movie covers a short period of the life of Sir James Matthew Barrie (the writer), between the release of his last play and his classic masterpiece Peter Pan. Best part was seeing how the people and events around the author have inspired the play, and afterwards, how the play has affected them (Sylvia, her children, her mother and even an audience of all ages...) it makes you realize that even though the story of Peter Pan seems simple, it is rich with symbolisms and metaphors.

The author strongly believed that the power of imagination can overcome age, sickness and death, and he tried to pass it on to everyone, but most importantly to the people he cared about (when he showed Sylvia Neverland)…Depp ,Winslet n de kids are awesome…Now I want to read “The man who was Peter pan”…

Movie leaves few questions left unsaid.. But It gives a hope…n I juz watched an episode of I dream of Jeanie…

2007-02-12T23:25:00.000+05:30

India and Communal Riots...

Few days back I watched Parzania with my engg time friends …though I wasn’t in mood of watching any serious movie but its not easy to get tickets of any new English flick or any good romantic movie on Saturdays in Pune… and all of us are lazy enough to call up in morning for tele booking .. So having no other option left to pass time till 11 in night we entered E-Square.. One of ma friend was like “Now this z the best thing we could do before going to a disc.. Can’t we go to any where else??” but thanks to Ms NO.. She wasn’t in mood to travel…Ms NO is girlfriend of one of my friend…she has got only one reply for any damn question. NO…….

Wanna have burger?? NO… its not good here

How about coffee in Mac D? NO… they serve bournvita in cup of coffee

Pizza?? NO… Pizza in Pune sux!!

You think I am exaggerating?? But I am not…she just knows one word…NO.. at least every sentence of hers starts with a NO.. you could be thinking …How there relation started if she replies just in NO…so there is a story behind the only YES of her life.. My friend is a shy guy so straight forward proposal was out of the question.. anyhow he managed her e-mail id.. mailed her some 10-12 times asking her for a date… told her where he used to stand in canteen of their office to get a glimpse of her.. and other regular flirting stuffs.. but de reply he always got was just a simple NO… Now you must be thinking whats strange in this… this is the most probable reply from any gal…but strange is the logic why she accepted her proposal… guy is 6+ with smart looks and decent demeanor …he has got a good reputation in their company.. many of her friends are over him…but all this wasn’t the reason she said the only YES of her life.. she accepted her proposal as he was the first person to wish her HAPPY BUDDAY …now what kinda logic is this I wasn’t able to understand but she very proudly narrates their love story and then the turning point HAPPY BUDDAY…what if the poor guy gets late by few seconds.. What if he felt like going to loo at 12??

Yeah.. sorry from diverting from the topic.. So Ms NO’s another NO made us to watch Parzania .. Somehow I feel most of the right decisions of mine are made after having no other option left.. this is the tragedy of my life.. I always want to do things as I wish to but most of the times I end up doing something else.. something I never wished to… engineering …mba …all of my old affairs…I never wanted to get myself involved in any of them.. So I have changed my view towards looking at things …now I believe in everything happens for a good reason.. Coming back to the movie…

I had already written in my previous entries.. I don’t like narrating stories or giving my expert reviews on movies…as I like most of the movies and I don’t watch movies for finding loose ends or appreciating the story line or direction but still there are movies which left an impact…Parzania was one of them..

Gujarat Riots

Godhra witnessed one of the brutal acts of humanity in Gandhi’s very own state Gujarat. Violence first started with burning a train compartment at Godhra station killing 58 Hindus… so called REASON: This particular incident was instigated by a Muslim mob in retaliation for the Hindus expressing their support for a Ram Mandir in ram janmabhoomi.( Is this reason so intense that one can burn 58 innocent souls alive???)

Post effect:

The images from the train burning were broadcast in print as well as the electronic media, especially in local Gujarati language newspapers. The Chief Minister of the BJP ruled state, Narendra Modi ordered a state funeral for the deceased in the train burning incident. The timings of the arrival of the dead bodies to the state capital Ahmedabad were advertised on the radio may have contributed to a very large turnout of people in an already charged atmosphere. Modi blamed the Pakistani secret service Inter Services Intelligence behind the incident. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad issued a call for a peaceful statewide bandh on February 28, 2002. That bandh was later supported by the ruling BJP government.

Attacks on Muslims

A senior member of the BJP said that for two days the party told its cadres "you can settle your account." By that, he meant take revenge for the attack on a train by a Muslim mob, which sparked off the violence in Ahmedabad and elsewhere in the state. Most of the press reported that the police did nothing to stop the violence in the early days. In one of the camps where some of the tens of thousands of Muslim refugees fleeing from the clashes were living, refugees said time and time again that the police had taken part in the rioting. Some refugees also alleged that BJP legislators had been involved too.Police inaction and BJP encouragement might account for the size of the mobs but it doesn't explain their barbarity, particularly raping women and burning the victims.

Nobody had any explanation for that.

Attacks on Hindus

In September 2002, at least 29 people were killed when suspected Islamic fundamentalist gunmen engaged in the Akshardham Temple attack in the city of Gandhinagar in Gujarat. The Pakistani ISI and Islamic terrorist group Lashkar-e-Toiba were accused of supporting the terrorists, but they have denied this accusation.Over ten thousand Hindus were made homeless as a result of the Gujarat violence. In several residential areas, Hindus were targeted following calls for retaliation. After looting the Hindu homes, they threw kerosene on the roofs and ignited their houses. According to one Hindu who lived through the violence.

Role of Government and Police

The Modi led state government was reprimanded at various levels including the National Parliament, Supreme Court and internationally. It was observed that the Gujarat government referred to the death of 58 people in the Godhra train episode as carnage while those post Godhra events, where at least 1000 perished were referred to as disturbances seen as an effort to pass on the subsequent deaths as a natural reaction to Godhra Train incident.

Casualties-

Gujarati Muslims killed : 790 dead

Gujarati Hindus killed : 254 dead

Aftermath

The Indian government's compensation policies offered 200,000 rupees for families with dead members on the train and 100,000 rupees for families who had relatives die in the riots.

But can any sum of money turn back the time?? we all know what answer z…Those orphans are never going to see de faces of their parents again…those widows ‘ll never be able to live the normal life.. Those mothers ‘ll never be able to kiss the forehead of the ones they’ve loved most in their life… they all ‘ll feel equal pain irrespective of the language of their prayers ..Unlike the opposite directions they face while remembering their gods they ‘ll feel same direction of sorrow…

Its not just Gujarat riots or Anti Sikh riots of 1984 or Mumbai bomb blasts of 1993 and 2006…we have every single time proved how faithful are we for our religion.. but what we every time forgets is we are human first.. and we belong to any religion only if we can call ourselves human.. Dogs and cats don’t have any religion.. pardon me!! for the wrong comparison.. even dogs and cats are better than us they don’t ask question before fighting … “whether that dog’s name is tommy singh or tommy khan?”

Mahatma Gandhi, father of our nation derived great moral strength from Bhagavad gita, which is evident in his words:

"The Geeta is the universal mother. I find a solace in the Bhagavadgeeta that I miss even in the Sermon on the Mount. When disappointment stares me in the face and all alone I see not one ray of light, I go back to the Bhagavad Gita. I find a verse here and a verse there, and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming tragedies - and my life has been full of external tragedies - and if they have left no visible or indelible scar on me, I owe it all to the teaching of Bhagavad Gita."

Gandhi jee could have found inspiration in Gita for fighting every single problem he encountered in his life but in any of the verses he couldn’t have got a mildest hint for hating other religions.

Muhammad often retreated to Mount Hira near Mecca. Islamic tradition holds that the angel Gabriel began communicating with him here in the year 610 and commanded Muhammad to recite the following verses:

Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created- Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,- He Who taught (the use of) the pen,- Taught man that which he knew not.

Only ALMIGHTY is creator in any religion…then who are we to destroy his most beautiful creation…

I heard few of my Hindu friends favoring the mob attack on Muslims after Godhra incident as it was necessary to redeem the pride of Hindus…same feeling was of few Muslims after the attacks on a Muslim majority Chawl in Mumbai…then happened Mumbai Bomb Blasts of 93…leaving few hundred corpses of both the religions…but 2 things were common in all of ‘em…they all were INDIANS and COMMON MEN…Neither the politicians were killed nor does the riches gt injured…. Does these kind of attacks are planned by common men of any religion??? What do you expect from someone who doesn’t even have time to come out of the web of their own problems…they are just sufferers irrespective of the religion they follow…

We all must have recited these lines many times…

Jana gana mana adhinayaka, jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha
Dravida Utkala Banga
Vindhya Himachal Yamuna Ganga
Uchchhala Jaladhi taranga.
Tava shubha name jage,
Tava shubha ashisha mage,
Gahe tava jaya gatha,
Jana gana mangala dayaka jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Jaya he, Jaya he, Jaya he,
Jaya jaya jaya, jaya he!

What does these lines means?? Why did we used to recite these lines every morning in our school time?? Since school days we are taught INDIA is our mother land..but its not just about blindly repeating these lines.. have you ever gave a thought over the message?? I have even met people who don’t know our mother tongue properly.. so for those brothers n sisters of mine…This time just don’t read National Anthem of yours but try to feel the energy generated by the most pious lines I’ve ever gone through…

Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people,
dispenser of India's destiny.
Thy name rouses the hearts of Punjab, Sindh, Gujarat, the Maratha country,
in the Dravida country, Utkala (Orissa) and Bengal;
It echoes in the hills of the Vindhyas and Himalayas,
it mingles in the rhapsodies of the pure waters Jamuna and the Ganges.
They chant only thy name,
they seek only thy blessings,
They sing only thy praise.
The saving of all people waits in thy hand,
thou dispenser of India's destiny.
Victory, Victory, Victory, Victory to thee.

Thnx to wikipedia for few valuable informations..

2007-01-28T21:11:00.000+05:30

MBA

I was never a studious student at any point of my educational life.. but this MBA has given new heights to my laziness towards studies ..my routine ltf- 2-4 movies a day, 4-7 trips to pub a week, 1-2 hours of basket ball a day, 20-25 clicks on refresh button in orkut to check new messages, 10-15 clicks a day on www. .blogspot.com/ to see if she has written any new post or replied to any anonymous comment of mine. Its not like we don’t have anything to do.. Most of my batch mates are busy in value addition (its the term they use) processes like case studies, committees (there are too many .. I don even know names of all of them).. few really ambitious guys are doing courses like CFA , APICS ,NCFM etc etc.. all this wasn’t my cup of tea but I respected the fact that people are focused.. and one day I found one of the self assumed intellects came to Manni bhai’s room ..he was asking his opinions on different courses.. he wanted to do de best course available in market to label on his CV.. okk.. I mean its fine.. but best part was his options covered whole of the universe.. he didn’t believe in any boundaries of finance scm or marketing.. if he could be anyhow convinced salsa or theatres ‘ll assure him a good CV point then he‘ll be doing their certifications too..

Dubey jee gave NCFM .. and half of the batch followed him.. now when Tanuj cleared CFA level -1 atleast 20 more are writing CFA this June.. We are very patriotic. We don’t believe in going against traditions. Bhed chaal is one of the oldest traditions of India. We don’t have specific interests. Few years back every Mom N Dad in India used too see future engineer, doctor or IAS in their newly born offspring …Now due to increasing number of unemployed and low paid Engineers and doctors dreams are changed…. Now MBA is dream of India… But as Aamir said in Rang de Basanti no country is perfect… India too has few who don’t follow traditions and thats why Mumbai is full of struggling Shahrukhs and Aishwaryas…they too follow bhedchaal but roots don’t originate 4m their parents in this case…

Yeah..telling more bout our coll..we have a stupid IP messenger… it serves as local news channel.. you can get every information over here..

people share their emotions with their status messages like

~I can’t handle this anymore~
~enjoying life~
~I want to be remembered after 1000 yrs of my death~

then there are informative ones
~go for CAIRN IPO~ ( after the reports of IPO being under subscribed)

few coded status messages are also there to use your brain and crack them

~kbc tritya:kaun banegi chachijaan~
~killi nailed someone. guess who is it??~

suggestions like

~sab mohmaya sab kapat~
~ nothing is impossible~

you can get personal informations like

~hair raising~
~sim changed~

n u can show ur mahanta too with messgs like

~teach kids thru rotaract~

you can check this post for further details on ip messenger.. http://menmyken.blogspot.com/2006/12/tere-mere-status-message.html

Sometimes its really funny.. today there was a long discussion over whether fin assignment should be submitted in printout or handwritten.. best part was one of de generous souls has circulated the solution …all what has to be done was to take printout or copy 12 pages n submit it... discussion started with logical facts like…same 12 pages of printout of 150 students will look odd… counter attack.. “prof wont check the assignments ..he haven’t even checked the last 2 modules examination paper”.. then came threat of CR “you‘ll be responsible for your own grades in case you submit it in printout” …when one of us felt like it wont be possible to make a common decision a mesg came “handwritten” …counter attack “printout printout printout” …most of the guys have 2-3 years of work ex …few of them are married… anyways … may be this is called fighting instincts…

I am not very regular in attending classes.. there is a logical fact behind…bhartiya sabhyta … Buddha says neutrality z first step towards salvation.. one should not be excited by any good outcome nor should he feel depressed by negative happenings. I ask to myself.. “What ‘ll attendance give you?”.. good impression …few extra numbers.. “what ‘ll these give you?” good job… “what a good job means?”.. handsome sum of money … “what ‘ll few extra bucks give you?”… added sense of happiness… but thats a hurdle in achieving salvation…one should be neutral…knowledge isn’t the factor which came as reply coz attending a class means to me.. “virtual trip to different places while sitting in my chair” or the best productive thing I can do in class is to think something creative and philosophical…three things always give me the feel to think something new n creative…

1- View from window of a train

2- Loo

3- Faces of Prof while sitting in lecture

That why most of the times I run short of attendance.. teachers are of three types..

First type:

Type- Moderate

Qualities-have impression of being very strict

they think there isn’t anything they can do of such stupid students. They try to humiliate students infront of the class.. give threats…some of them give less marks to defaulters.. but they don have any concern with changing the attitude or belief of culprits.

Second type:

Type –Good

Qualities- harmless, humble, intelligent

They don care about the attendance…occasionally take attendance that too in pages (most of which don make any impact on attendance register) don’t have time for any other thing than lecture

Third type:

Type –Dangerous

Qualities- Duty bound, punctual

They take every class with new enthu… take attendance very seriously (some of them takes it two times..) they think its their responsibility to give the right direction to students.

Our economics teacher falls in third category…n one very fine lazy evening Ravi gave me her mesg that if I am interested in giving module exam she wants to see me in half an hour.. I didn’t knew she could go to such cheap tactics otherwise I may not have ignored her last three calls.. I was thinking she must be busy enough in other stuffs .after all profs too have other things to do but I was wrong she too had as much faaltu tym as I have…

First question she fired was .. “Do you know how many attendance u have??” …I didn’t knew she expected us to count attendance… I followed very old principle of mine of keeping my mouth shut… “13 out of 24”she said… I was shocked…I didn’t attend 13 classes of hers.. Proxy Zindabaad!! I felt like telling her that it was my best attendance in 8 subjects but kept my mouth shut.. “Sorry but I can’t allow u to sit in module exam”.. I didn’t have any other option but too give some stupid excuse.. I just hate telling lie but this world makes you corrupt.. it doesn’t leave any other option but….

“I wasn’t well.. So I went to my place..” . “For how many days?” … she asked.. “2 weeks” I replied… “ But there are just 4 classes in 2 weeks.. what bout other 7??”

silence for few seconds…Then she started giving lectures .. I had lots of excuses but didn’t said anything… actually management z bout catering ego of others for your own good…I followed de golden rule…but she had loads of it I guess…so I had to interrupt ..

“But…Mam! I attended all de classes after that. You can check your attendance register..” . “I had just 2 classes after that…that too was taken by guest faculty..” she said while checking her attendance register…I didn’t knew she was going to really check otherwise I shouldn’t have given her the idea.. “He still didn’t gave me the attendance list n I know you mustn’t have attended his classes too” she said… “mam!! I did..” I replied..

“what was his name?” I didn’t even know names of all of my batch mates .. n why de hell I was going to remember his name… “I didn’t paid attention to his name” I replied..

“I knew you haven’t attended the class” she said… “mam!! I did..just I don remem the name…but I remem he was wearing spects” I replied.. “very smart!! Nowadays every next profs have spects…” she gave her smart answer with expression of self praise… “what all he explained today??” that was the least expected question during your post graduation… I didn’t even remember the topic… “sorry mam.. I didn’t remem..” . I wasn’t even able to prove my innocence that this time I didn’t lie.. I attended that bogus class for 3 hours at the opportunity cost of watching “enemy at the gates”. Such incidences made you feel. This world is not for innocent people …n while all of my batchmates were studying for module exams I was doing assignment before 2 days of exams… critical analysis of “Fiscal policy and monetary policy of India in last year keeping multiplier effect and accelerator effect in count”. It took 9 precious hours of mine just b4 exams… this z the only value addition I m getting here in my MBA..meeting the deadlines..

2007-01-13T06:06:00.000+05:30

Maximum city!!

I was damn sure I’ll be sleeping through all de precious days of winter vacations instead of going through stupid novels as I usually do in my vacations .After five long days of module exams my cozy bed at my very own room was all I was dreaming about. Though its not mine now as it is occupied by my younger brother n fluffy but still I prefer to sleep in the room which envelopes secrets of my school life.. Being in that room brings all the sweet n spicy memories back. My place being closest (to the school) n safest (due to same timing of mom’s office as of our school) was our joint after bunking the school. Be it the play practice or dance party or love birds meet that room gave us the place whenever we needed. I am very attached to that room. I have studied whole nights in that room for my board exams after making my mom pride by passing two subjects(English and Hindi) out of five in pre-boards, my first date, first porn all happened in that room only.

With dreams of sleeping comfortably in the holy room I was about to leave the hostel but thought of 33 hours journey made me land into Harsha’s room. I asked him for any non-fiction book n first time it took 6 days to complete a book of less than 600 pages. No wonder it took Suketu Mehta 7 years to complete the book its characters sometimes came outside the book in front of me as real characters I can correlate too. Its richly varied cast of characters, drama n minute details made the writer’s quest to plumb both the grimy depths and radiant heights of the Mumbai a brilliantly illuminating portrait of the megalopolis and its people in the form of MAXIMUM CITY- Bombay Lost And Found.

He describes underworld, politics, cops, media, bar dancers n common mob of Mumbai through stories of his characters n then shows how they r interrelated . Book is divided into chapters, all of them are interesting and exciting… especially I liked powertoni and a cop’s life…here Mehta describes about riots of 92-93 through the characters who were really involved in riots.. Shivsena ,Dawood and Chota Rajan’s involvement n their deeds during that period and sufferings of common man. Organized crime and role of politicians and cops is very nicely described. Bar dancer’s life is also an interesting part of the book. Every character lives to extremities but being in limits of character.. that’s the best part of it.. Characters are so realistic that you can correlate them with the characters in your life but they are not common.. Mehta didn’t write his book as normal non-fiction ..characters speaks not the author…he haven’t preached sin and virtue ,good and bad …every character lives his own life and does what he likes and have his own reasons for his demeanor. I wish to write about the whole book but that won’t be possible ..reading the book will be a better option for you…you’ll be investing your time on something good..

Whenever Jain (my best friend) and I watched movies or read books we used to imagine the story as ours and then we give the name of characters to our friends... Most of the time Atul gets the best and interesting characters.. can’t remember all of them but lemme try to recall few …yeah…

Kaali ( Ajay devgan in Kaal)

Electra( main female lead don remem the name)

Daredevil(x-men)

Hulk ( hulk )

Trinity (Matrix)

We didn’t care much about female or male leads while Atul’s casting.. we gave him the important n stylish roles.. I never understood why he didn’t like this naming stuff.. He was the fastest rider in our college so we made him Trinity , he was most energetic so we made him Electra but everytime he was given the female lead he starts arguing but we were very choosy about casting…we never compromised with characters ..so everytime he was given the female lead he wanted to made us watch a new movie asap…I think I am diverting from the topic…yeah …point I want to say is situations n characters we see in movies or read in books exist somewhere near us(though not in Atul’s case ….we never expected him to cross 7-8 buildings in a single jump like Hulk)…Maximum City made me remind many such incidents and characters…lemme share one with you…names are changed for anonymity(Though its of no use as those who were there with me will guess the characters with real ones and those who don’t know it doesn’t matter who is who)but still my filmy knowledge says names should be changed..

Story starts in class 11^th…Yash Thakur , Rahul Saxena and Rehaan Khan were good friends . They didn’t have anything in common but friendship doesn’t need common interests and habits…How they become friends is also a strange story…Rahul was a silent n shy student when he took admission in new school. There were two groups in school Yash’s and Asif’s..I have seen many groups and fights in schooling and college…n there aren’t any different reasons behind these stuffs in any part of the world…ego clashes ,girls, power ,posts are few of the common reasons behind these fightings and groupings.. same was the case here…Yash and Asif were in different sections …they were captains of different house(inter school comptt)…both were good sportsmen...both were good in cultural…all these reasons were enough for the foundation of groupings…when Rahul joined the school asif’s group started ragging him as he was in yash’s section. That was the time Yash and Rehaan came by Rahul’s side not because of anything but because of their own reputation but few months later they were good friends.

Yash was topper of his section and Rehaan anyhow manages to pass if he wasn’t allowed to sit next to Yash . All of the three used to sit together but during class tests they were made to sit separately. Once during Physics test Yash and Rehaan were sitting together .Rehaan was praying may be teacher don’t give attention and by his good luck prof didn’t noticed but that didn’t worked long..soon he was spotted while leaning over Yash’s test copy .Rehaan was sent to sit in the front row in Yasmeen’s seat and she had to come to sit next to Yash. Yasmeen was the only girl Yash didn’t had any interaction with.But same was with everyone. Yasmeen didn’t have a single friend. I guess half of the class haven’t even listened her voice except “present sir” during attendance.

(I am not used of writing in third person so from now onwards .I’ll write in first person as Yash )

It was hardly ten minutes after Rehaan’s substitution with a beautiful gal I heard someone sobbing in very low tone. I didn’t expected to see someone crying due to exams in class 11^th .It was Yasmeen. I generally don’t initiate talks with gals by my own but after seeing her I was tempted to ask coz generally I don’t see gals crying too. But she didn’t replied and continued crying. As if I care..I am not used of such behavior. First of all I ..Yash Thakur asked a gal something ..that too out of humanity and she didn’t replied. I started scribbling again n she started sobbing again. Five minutes…Ten minutes…sobbing didn’t came to a stop. I didn’t want to but somehow I asked her again but this time a simple question or rather a solution in itself. I opened my copy n offered her to see whatever she wants to n copy it. But fools are fools…you can’t help them as they don’t want to help theirselves.. all what she has to do was to use her eyes but I think they were busy dropping tears.. n she didn’t want to act against law of inertia..

Days passed… I didn’t knew why but I started observing her.. She was the simplest gal I have ever seen. White full shirt n knee length grey skirt made her look smart but that was all illusion of her school dress…but she was different…very different indeed.. quiet n reserved…she didn’t had a single friend rather I never saw her speaking to anyone ..not even the important issues.. once we got a group assignment…I was observing her that what will she do now…she didn’t asked anyone and next day she was the only person who has completed the assignment assigned for a group of 5 students alone. She had an invisible coat around her which distinguished her from a normal gal.. If I haven’t seen her sobbing I could be having very snobbish image of hers.. She was a mystery for me.. Her big green eyes n flawless skin made her look heavenly beautiful. sometimes I wander why guys don’t try to talk to her…I thought discussing about her with Rehaan and Rahul but they’ll think it in other way so I didn’t tried …it wasn’t attraction or anything.. It was just the curiosity …a quest of an inquisitive mind…

I decided to talk to her…I came early in class n took the seat next to her. It was awkward as everyone knows I sit with Rahul and Rehaan …and she used to sit with two gals. Preity saw me sitting in her place n I requested her to take my seat and gave logic as I am not able to concentrate on lectures due to rehaan. Yasmeen entered in class and took the seat without even looking at me. It was embarrassing as Rehaan started teasing me as gaddar n dhokebaaz and whole class was looking at me n Yasmeen. I thought she too must be feeling odd but she was reading her book. (She was alone even in crowd because of her invisible coat). I wanted to start a conversation but I didn’t. My seat was changed permanently and I noticed even I was becoming quiet and quiet …most of my time was spent in thinking about her…

Weeks passed but we didn’t even say hi to each other. I was confused how to start a conversation till she once asked me for a pen. It was the perfect occasion to start a conversation. “Can I ask you a question if you don’t mind?” First time her green eyes made contact with mine. she didn’t replied in yes or no but her eyes were affirmative for listening to me. “Why don’t you talk to anyone?”. And first time I listened to her voice… “It isn’t so but there is nothing to talk about”. I didn’t understand the logic. Even I am quiet reserved but there are few people whom I can talk to anytime and there is always something to talk about. I gave my logic… “But still I found you never talk. It isn’t necessary to have something really important to talk with someone and in your case you didn’t even talk on important things” then I gave her example of that group assignment. “If I can do that assignment by myself then why to ask for help”…She replied. Come’on what help?? that was a group assignment and was supposed to be done by a group of five .where the hell this help stuff comes from…I thought but didn’t said to her instead I shoot her the next question “And why were you crying that day and when I offered you to copy you didn’t even replied”. She replied… “I wasn’t crying because of that paper”. “then why were you crying??” n then I realized I shouldn’t have asked that question. She just said.. “you asked for one and I replied two of yours.. ” she smiled and professor enters.

That’s how we started talking. We never discussed anything personal nor even usual stuffs like movies, music, sports etc. but subjects and studies. I was the only soul in school she talks to …was the only feeling which gave me the drive to continue talking boring stuffs like studies with her instead of talking about hundred times interesting topics with Rehaan n Rahul. “Nah…it isn’t attraction! Not at all..she is not my types..” that was all I used to reply to Rahul n Rehaan. But she possessed an aura that always made me think about her.

“We had to present a play and a group dance in zonal comptt .Yash ‘ll be looking after play and Asif ‘ll take care of dance” Jacksom mam said in assembly. “I don’t want to take part in all this stuff”.. I said to Rehaan.. “Why?”Rehaan replied. “As I don’t want to.. ” I said to him.. “I know the reason behind but what if this play thing provides you the opportunity to be with her” Rehaan said… “what her?? I am not saying this because of Yasmeen”.. I replied… “See ..I even didn’t took any name…” Rehaan smiled… “But she doesn’t even talk to anyone …she wont take part in play…” I told Rehaan. “Why don’t you try it out once”.

I can’t even call her friend as I can’t talk to her all what I want to..nor did I knew what I want to talk …but still there was something which made me feel close to her…n I feel comfortable in her presence … I think she always knew what was in my mind.. She herself asked very next day whats the problem…and what I want to talk to her… I asked…She just said ‘ll let you know tomorrow. She replied in affirmative and we were acting on that play next day. Practice started….I get very irritated when things don’t go the perfect way… and sometimes I scolded the team members being the director of play but everytime I said something to her ..She used to just smile… that smile was so innocent n sweet…till that time I knew it was not just curiosity or inquisitiveness …but her presence was something which was becoming an essential part of my life....

Play went fine..We won the first prized n she acted so well… it was hard to believe that was her first play…we become good friends after that… I never bring lunch as I felt very odd eating like small kids 4m lunch box… but she made me share her lunch everyday n most of the times I was forced to eat whole of it… I think I was very obstinate b4 meeting her but she was the one n only one who could command me …she didn’t used to ask me but order me whatever she wants …I didn’t followed most of her advices for studies n my well being but that was because I love her scolding n preaching …

But things don’t go the way as we wish to most of the times…same was our story… she was absent for more than a week…I thought to call her up..But didn’t had her number…I asked her once.. she said it wasn’t possible …but now I didn’t had any option…I was worried.. I had good contact with office attendant n he gave me her number by looking in office register in exchange of a pack of wills navy cut. I tried the number… a male voice came n I put the receiver down. Then Rahul dialed up n pretended as wrong number listening again to a male voice . We went to Rehaan’s place that evening as she lived in the same colony. For the first time I saw her fort… that wasn’t a normal house from any angle…4 armed guards were standing at the main gate.. then we watched 12 more in her compound. People were standing in queue to get into her place…I got it in few minutes only that it wont be possible to meet her at her place. Rehaan told me her father was an Ex-MLA n now he z holding very important post in a political party.

Few more days passed…I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything.. It was getting worse.. all I could think of was Yasmeen only.. She came back to school after 2 weeks..

“Where have you been?”.. I asked .. “I was out of station”.. she replied.. “Don’t you think you should have told me …”…no reply… I repeated the question…no reply… suddenly I found everyone staring at us… “You don’t have any right to scream at me”…I got my answer…I didn’t attended class n went back to my place…

I didn’t felt like going to school. It was so bad of her…how could be someone so rude?? I was not feeling well… I didn’t went for sessional tests…Rehaan n Rahul came to my place.. I told them not to discuss or ask me anything that I don’t want to.. and they didn’t started any such topic.. we watched a movie.. though I didn’t get anything of it..but still that was the better way to avoid awkwardness of sitting silent…Last thing Rehaan told me before leaving was.. “She didn’t gave any of the tests even after coming to school..better you come to school tomorrow”.. He walked away before I could have asked something..

I went to school next day…..She came n asked me to bunk the class…n I am very bad at saying no… it was the first time we were bunking class…we started walking towards my place…I found we were holding hands…can still feel the warmth of that touch…tears were rolling out of those green eyes… “Sorry” she said n that made me feel guilty…that’s the best part of gals… they made you feel guilty though you not really are… we spent next six hours in my room …she kept on talking n I kept on listening…..neither she said anything nor did I but till that time I knew it wasn’t just curiosity…

We spent next one month at my place instead of going to school. There wasn’t any new topic to talk about nor I can say those talks very interesting but being with her was the only thing I could think of.. most of the times I didn’t even listened to her talks ….she too knew that…she kept asking me questions to confirm whether I am listening to her properly or not…n I used to reply I like the voice not the content .. She made me learn dancing… we danced for hours....We used to dance on every type of music…even on idiotic numbers like “aish to kar” of devang Patel.. She was a great dancer … she used to cook and made me eat by her hands ..those were the days I can’t ever forget in my life….everything was just perfect…

And one day I got a call 4m Rehaan to inform that Yasmeen’s brother is in school to look for her n me with 10 jeeps filled with university students...n I didn’t knew at that time… next few days were going to change everything..

To be continued…

2006-12-12T03:24:00.000+05:30

Golden Days!

Sometimes..u have so much to write bout ...but when it comes to pen down…u don exactly know how 2 start….that’s y right now m in severe dilemma ..U mz b thinking hw cud b sm1 in severe dilemma jz bcoz he don know 4m where 2 strt.. But whn urs truly z concerned it’s a prob …a big prob..it cud lead to disasters.. Yeah…it cud!! Lemme quote an example…one of my fren went to a restaurant for his first date n returned back in 5 mins.. reason behind : 2 questions

First question: hw much tym we hv to stay here in this open space?

Second question: when will we leave for my room?

It’s all rubbish…those who say one shud b straight forward r morons…innocent laddu!! He shud have known this world z full of hypocrites…his innocence lead him 2 ask 2 questions…n wht ws de result??

Conclusion: 1 shud knw how to start.

Impressive beginin gives u a head start …but this z one thin urs truly z very bad at.. One thin??? Ok!! One of de thin…hmm…fyn almost everythin… man!! m tryin to talk 2 a gal 4m last one month.. but m nt able to strt a conversation coz m nt getting 4m where 2 strt…neways…cut de crap!

Last month I visited de city 4m where I did my engg …I was excited to go2 de city which envelopes de memories of most cherished time of my lyf.. my stay lasted jz 4 hours there…but reminiscence last ever….still remem de day when I entered de college first tym n de day when I had to leave de place…4 years….4 golden years…

Yours truly dreamed of all de stuffs one used to dream b4 joinin college…fun.. night outs.. gals.. fights.. groups n all…I was excited …. jz wanted my parents to leave as soon as possible…their presence can give me de title of champu baccha.. who z nt confident enuf to adjust in a new city by his own… I tried hard to stop dem 4m accompanying me to college but all in vain…man!! They shud have known bond was never accompanied by his parents…but as far as my general knowledge (which exhausts in my circle of frens..) says ..Indian parents r like tht only.. they always think their offspring to be de most innocent kid in de whole world who can be easily deceived or cheated.. man!! 4m which angle kallu ram can b innocent..

Kallu Ram’s CV starts like..

Name: Kallu Ram

Nick Name: Ramit Mishra

Achievements: suspended 5 times 4m coll for fightin, drinking n ….(censored)

Extra curricular: boozing, eve teasing..

Work ex: helped guys of diff coll for fights which they weren’t able to stand off..

And one day I discovered his mom n dad arguing with Hitler (our proctor) over innocence of their kallu ram who had mistakenly hit someone’s head with his cricket bat..

Later on I discovered even daanav’s (nick name: abhishek singh) parents came to drop him..

Anyways..soon they leaved…then I came 2 knw how hard it was for a 17 yr old to live without his mom…first thin I missed there was good food.. u can call that anything but not eatable…missed my mom a lot ..u may not believe but my frens know I hv very reserve type of nature..n I tlk very lil till m nt drunked.. So didn’t talked to ne1 first day....nxt day was day of ragging… have u ever gave a thought over de reason behind ragging?? I don knw exactly…but as far as reason behind our seniors z concerned.. I concluded they were very innovative n they want their successors to stand equal to dem.. first thin which drew my attraction was shapath…yeah!! we had to swear a shapath for following de traditions of our coll with due respect …can’t write it here [for de sake of sophisticated female readers (though they don really r but at least they pretend to be)]…tht was really awesome…even Wodehouse and Wells will feel jealous after reading the height of innovation in humor…hats off for de great author…

Second thing I appreciated was they were very strict on rules…we had to carry our identity card(unofficial 1) with us every time .. Possession of Id card with sexiest pic can award u a bit of relaxation in ragging…Chintu (nick name : abhinav my first fren@coll..). n I tried every brand but we never won de prize.. still remem how awkward it was to ask for identity card in a medical shop for de first time…we waited half an hour for de crowd to disperse…but I thin either whole of de city was ill tht day or this id thin z required at other places too…or may be that day has some special reasons ;) finally I asked for id card..(Chintu z shy enuf .. god knows how he will manage after marriage)..But tht idiot shop owner didn’t hear me for de first tym… I repeated…still remem tht disgusting look on his face.. It was embarrassing …my face went red…but for de Christ sake I wasn’t goin to give him explanations... suddenly I heard a voice explaining de reason behind our purchase…god damm it!! how cud I forget I was accompanied by one of de sincerest soul in de whole planet...man!!!every1 was watching us n I felt like to disappear …shop owner replied it's none of his business that why we r purchasin..…but our self assumed criminal Mr. Chintu wasn’t ready to leave till he prove himself to be innocent.. I literally pulled him to our bike to leave de place…

Still job wasn’t done.. This time I said chintu to keep his mouth shut..then we went to diff type of medical shops…small, medium, big,large,huge…Asking bout unique qualities was really awkward but all de brand names(pyar hua ikrar hua, for those who last long, extra. ) were not allowed as identity card…one of de shop owner even started arguing there zn’t ne diff in any of de brands.. Fuck’ol like we don knw...we were goin to be adult in just one year.. anyhow we managed two.. thnx to custom services for allowin Chinese brands at low tax rates…

We went to college (carryin Id card) with my near bout shoulder length hairs…I was in de hit list of seniors…just after first lecture a group of seniors came n asked 5 out of 60 students to follow them to senior’s hostel…need not to tell I was among the chosen lucky 1s …call to senior’s hostel was considered to be de worst thin which cud happen to a fresher.. n there z a tradition of hell lotta physical ragging in our coll…When we were about to enter the hostel gate I heard deafening cries of two types ..one of the predator’s n other of their preys…I didn’t knew what happened .. but I found my legs running towards parking.. few of predators ran behind me…but I was fast enough to caught by them. They had options of preys but I hv only life…

Few hours later we were in our hostel.. but those who were caught in butchery’s returned by 2 in night..no1 slept to hear de ragging story… Censored….(again for de sake of descent readers who don like to read objectionable things).. but one strange thin I noticed in all de pairs of horrified eyes of poor victims of ragging was… instead of sleeping after dere harsh session they were searching something…I asked few of dem but they didn’t said nethin.. After half an hour one of de victims came to my room n asked for help in searchin some1 n said to keep de search confidential.. I was about to sleep but I replied in affirmative n promised to keep de secrecy…then he gave me de description of de target..

Name: Anonymous

Batch: ours

Height: 5’10

Complexion: fair

All of de given info leaves us with at least 50+ guys.. n we have been together hardly since 30 hours…so probability of finding our target was very low…lest we have personal security number of tht guy n we belonged to U.S… then he gave an additional info that cud narrow down de options to single digit and in those particular conditions(ragging period) may be in 1..

He has shoulder length hairs…fuck off n thnx heavens…were two sounds which came out of my heart at same instant…( stylo man’s parlor was de first stop of mine after I ran 4m de butchery’s..) ppl say social animals have advantages but for me it takes time to open up..if I wud have socialized with my batch mates last nite..I cud be easily spotted out…he told me they all were given a single assignment to search de guy with given description …he didn’t knew de reason for search..rather they were thinking it’s an exercise to waste their time… and assignment’s answer z no1 z stupid enuf to come here wth shoulder length hairs…I supported de logic of one of de self assumed genius who suggested the assignment to be a mind game.. He had taken one month commando training from his elder brother to face ragging.. He gave few examples of his smart answers during ragging…I swear answers were so stupid..Anyhow I managed to cntrl my feelings to laugh…

I didn’t went to coll for next week…our self assumed genius got few slaps after his logical answer…but he still believed seniors rn’t ready to accept a genius had solved de puzzle…ragging was on its extremes…sometimes I felt like we are criminals of murder who instead of getting capital punishments r sent to victim’s family.. those assholes tried every shit they can try…

I m not a gentle soul 4m any angle but I was never in favor of ragging.. I think only frustration leads some1 to take ragging.. That day I swear to myself I’ll never take ragging even in slightest form… after seeing de pathetic conditions of my batch mates I was upset.. I wished any angel to come n stop de cruel act of devils…an angel came…ragging stopped… n he disappeared in oblivion…

Then I wished he shouldn’t have come … I wished I cud take back my wish ..I was ready to stand for hours in one leg.. I was ready to face all de slaps by seniors.. I was ready to do anything.. any damn thing to see his face again… …still remem his sweet face…still remem his innocent smile while watchin tom n jerry…still remem de song he sung playin antakshri … “ham rahein ya na rahein kal…yaad aayenge yeh pal”…still remem tears in his mother’s eyes.. Still remem his dad asking for his room ..still remem his dad touching his clothes …still remem his elder brother holdin his father …still remem de only sentence his brother said “y had he committed suicide?”….still remem the silence…silence of losing a dear one…

To be continued...

2006-11-28T07:31:00.000+05:30

ALIBAGH..............

So here m again….tried hard to stay away 4m this bloggin business… I want to study …haven’t studied a single page in this module n we have examz after 16 days… but I swear its not my fault….its all bcoz of manni bhai…he has gone 2 sleep n I don have ne book of mine…how cud he sleep at 4 a.m ??? If some1 needs book then??? He is so careless.. He even didn’t joined us to S P…won’t write de full name…okkk…P for palace….palace sounds nice…but s cud be anything…shanghai…sharon …sizzling ..nethin.. short forms r better when name is ...
Chaurangi Prasad (CP)
kali charan(k.c)…
I wanted to go2 Hawaiian shack but Guti said its very far…everytym we decide to go to Hawaiian Shack n most of de times we land to SP…

Reason: 2 beers are not enough for Joy n Hawaiian shack is not affordable more than once in a week’

*for old frens*- read SP as FKD n Hawaiian shack as Strokes …

yeah I was telling bout …Manni bhai…

he z lyk big brother to me…n I respect him a lot…but I noticed a change in his behavior in last few days …he has taken swear to quit playin age of empires n to drink only in weekends …its ok with AOE…he has conquered many territories n now he z king of a big state… …but wht bout booze??? How can some1 can take such immoral resolution…I mean wht bout de poor waiters?? Wht if SP went for downsizing of de organization..

Stoner says…

ORGNIZATION: Two or more people who work together in a structured way to achieve a specific goal or set of goals

Yours truly says

e.g. :

Organization: S P

No. of workers: 10-15 (they don disclose de real num ..may be because of taxes I think thats y kitchen z always closed)

Specific goal: To serve Truth (fir haath mein sharab hai sach bolta hoon mein)

So this is our responsibility as citizen of our proud nation that such social organizations should flourish…

Havin no other option left I m here again…n guess wht I m going to give my expert reviews about Casino royal and Dhoom-2 and comparison between Rimi Sen n Eva Green…..and Uday Chopra n Daniel Craig…

Rimi Sen: Total 11 dialogues including few single liners like hmmm… kaise??? Kahan??

Eva Green: Heard very few of hers…she z gorgeous enuf to distract my hearing ability..

Do u really think I am going to compare de two guys?? or movies??

I don’t like these critics…near bout every movie z not worth watching for them… I liked both de movies…but m not gonna write their reviews…it’s easily available in net n that too with expert tips like do’s n don’ts of Bond…n debate over Bond falling in love….

Actually I started writin with our Alibagh’s trip in mind but Manni Bhai’s deception has to be disclosed…

Yeah ..Alibagh.. As usual it was Tango’s plan … as usual it was night…as usual he wanted to leave in an hour… as usual it wasn’t weekend….as usual we had class next day…as usual I was de first1 to gt de invitation…as usual I didn’t took a second to say yes.. but he z writin CFA next week so I said(reluctantly) to plan after his exam…but I knew he’ll not listen to this logic…classes r never a prob for us…n night z de best tym to start ne journey…still remem Matheran’s trip.. actually that trip z source of inspiration for our adventurous n not pre-planned trips… empty local (rare site in mumbai xcept last few trains after 12), half an hour walk in jungle at 2 a.m. with an unknown man (who didn’t uttered a single word in whole journey) n a torch…heavy rain…beer cans…darna mana hai part-2….pandu’s planchette .. Tango’s horror stories...awesome…not going to write that story… somethings should remain secret…. ;))

This z one of de pic i clicked in tht trip..

Pandu,Harsha n Teku

Teku our third partner we knew will join….our first target ….Manni bhai ….tried hard to convince him…but he have excuse for every damn situation…that day’s excuse.. “I am tired enough to move”….but I believed him…I guess he had to fight for hours to win few new empires(AOE)…I have seen his dedication for winning wars..

Joy’s new passion z library….three weeks b4 his passion was SP but he z a changed(read boring) man now…but I know people change…SP z waitin for his comeback so are we…

JOY (old one)

NEW JOY

Harsha had to attend birthday party of Mimo’s mom…though Mimo n his paternal uncles(3)joined de gang but harsha didn’t…sorry to those who aren’t getting de complex relationship but as I said somethings are better left unsaid….Guti, ropes ,sarna n Bheema joined…wht??? Chicks ;) we never ask to chicks.. .no …no …not that!! We all are straight… u want to know reasons???

~ H is always silent n folks are classy :D~ begging ur pardon again but this coding was unavoidable….

Hired a sumo …started our journey at 11 in nite…. picked fuel(booze) to keep our spirits high…by 12 ..near Vashi we came 2 knw tht all de diesel pumps hv sm sorta strike tht day…neways…after an hour’s exploration .. finally found a pump n gt de tank refilled…our’s as well as sumo’s…didn’t remem much after a beer ,2 breezers n 4 pegs down my belly…but after an hour I remem sarna bhai was pukin… most of my batch mates are dumb n darpok types.. but sarna z one of de exceptions .. I lyk him n his cool attitude…sarna n mimo’s father (Mithun) r 2 guys who can compete me for low attendance.. I didn’t expected this puke thn 4m him…neways sometimes it happens….

Another thin I remem z Mimo(funniest creature in our clg) ,tango n ropes discussing sumthin very serious…I didn’t got wht was de topic but at times I felt Mimo was bout to cry...yeah…I remem ropes sayin “expectations shouldn’t be there”.n tango givin some good gd points too ….fine…I mean I too believe in wht Ropi said n generally Ropes n tango speak sensible things …but to Mimo??? I mean Mimo..this all wasn’t Mimo’s concern…I doubt he even listened to dere points…he started discussion with Mr X’s attitude 2wards him n he wanted some consolidations n words of sympathy but his target segment wasn’t correct…I mean tango n ropi…nah!!Gals r better for this sorta stuff!! Finally Mimo wasn’t able to digest de heavy stuff …n he himself quit de discussion…yeah for de sake of those who don know dese nick names n relations lemme try to xplain de relations…

Mimo: de naughty kid

Age: 21(looks like 21 acts like 12)

Passion: guitar

Mithun: Mimo’s father (not here in this story but for future references)

Age: 24(looks like 24 ...feels his maturity level as 53 ...n acts like 17)

Passion: comp games

Mummy: Mimo’ mom (divorced wth Mithun now happily livin wth Mimo’s new father)

Age: 24 (looks like 34 ...feels bout herself as 12)

Passion: I doubt if she has one

Mimo have 4 paternal uncles, 1 paternal aunt, no maternal uncles, three maternal aunts n at least 12 candidates as his new dad…Mimo loves her mom n maternal aunts n hates all de prospective dads …at a tym they all were a happy family n Mimo was happy too but one bright morning he saw everythin was over…neways…back to de story..

From the moment I listened to de plan …my imagination was filled with scenes of Ishq Vishq …I thought de journey to be of 3 hours but it was 3 am n there wasn’t ne glimpse of beaches… few of us felt hungry …n de only option available was a thella of “anda bhurji”..I don like anda bhurji at all but there wasn’t ne other option …n tht day I came 2 know how anda bhurji with 40 eggs is made…by tht tym we were in Alibagh ….then started de search of beach which lasted 3 n half hours…

Driver: So here comes de beach…. (pointing towards an area 4m where u can have a glimpse of sea if u don rotate ur eyes more than 45 degree)

Mimo: yo!!! yo!!!! It’s so beautiful….finally we arrived…

Teku: doesn’t look like a beach..

Bheema: I wanna pee!!

Guti: (pointing to a hotel): there z a swimming pool inside..We can drink there..

I : Where z de beach of Ishq vishq???

Tango being de one who had been to alibagh earlier …said let’s go2 some other place…

Driver reluctantly started de sumo again…..half an hour later …a diversion came with three turns… (Time- 3:30, road empty.. no one around to confirm which z de right turn..)

Driver: Which way??

Tango: This way..

Teku: That way…

Guti: doesn’t look like right way

Teku n Tango: how do u know??

Guti: Arabian Sea z in right side of India…

Highly impressive logic…hats off for u bro!!

15 Mins later……

I don remem de name of de beach…but plan was changed to go 2 another beach sum 15 km away…

didn’t find ne beach there too… except few ponds…Mimo was in mood to sit dere n play his guitar.. guti supported de logic to have some drinks…thnxz heavens.. Bill wasn’t passed by majority…finally we saw a board showin…. Murud-57 Km..

Tango:yeah..this was de beach I have been to last tym…we shud go dere only..

Every1:ok…(if mimo wudn’t have thrown de idea of pond site guitar session I doubt de sound of ok in unison)

An hour later-

Murud-2km

4 Mins later-

xxxxx(don remem de stupid name)-23 km

I - where z de fuckin beach???

No one responded…

I-where de hell z beach???

Mimo(wakes up n start shoutin)-yo!! Beach beach…

Mimo (next moment)-is beach other side… (lookin to his back)

Tango-there must be a bench in de middle of road…I still remem…

10 mins later-

Bheema: fuck u…how can be a bench in de middle of de road..

Tango: there z one…

Sarna bhai after 5 hours sleep finally wakes up n tells de driver 2 take left turn…

Tango: but there zn’t ne bench..

SARNA: I have been here last month…

Every1(except Tango who was still searchin de bench): then y de hell were u sleepin???

Teku: how can be a beach at de hill top…?

Guti:dere must be a slope later…

With god’s grace an aunty (age: 60 sumthin) with a dog comes ….

Bheema: Aunty is dere ne beach syd this way???

Aunty:kya??

Bheema:kya yahan kahin samundra ka kinara milega…

Aunty: (angry with bheem’s act of indecency who took aunty’s hearin prob as lingo prob) go straight n take left…

Thanks heavens Bheema replied thanks not dhanyawad…few laughing sessions on bheema’s shuddh hindi…

15 mins later-

Bheema: seems like aunty ne popat bana diya!!

Sarna: no this is the right way..

Tango: no…bench zn’t here…

Mimo:(tryin to play guitar but space not allowin him) no probz we can stay here n have fun..

Sarna: hey…look here comes de beach..

I swear juhu beach was 100 times cleaner as compared to that thin….smell of fishes was all I cud smell at 5 in morning…ishq vishq wasn’t shot in alibagh for a sure I thought…

Tango: see I knew beach was smwhere near bench in de middle of road…not here

Sarna: this z de only beach..

Guti (to driver):u have been here 4 times??

Driver :( smiles) sahab ab itna kahan yaad rehta hai

I felt like to slap him…neways …after 15 mins discussion it was decided we’ll go n have some drinks at a bit cleaner place n when some good souls(those who wake up early in morning) will be dere to show us de way then we’ll move……

Leavin de rest of de story that how we reached there…just telling u after an hour we were there n finally we didn’t found ne bench on de middle of de road…but de place Tango was telling was de same…reason for de bench thin tango later remembered …there was some pooja n all de day he came…so may be that’s y bench was in de middle of de road…..

But now I think that overnight journey was worth travellin 2 come 2 dat place….awesome!!!!!!!! I mean dere are no words to describe de beauty of the beach….

BHEEMA!!!

GUTI....

TEKU...

BHeema n Tango(i don thin u'll find ne prob in identifyin who z BHEEMA n who z TANGO)

Tango , Ropes n Sarna...

Yours Truly...

2006-11-03T23:41:00.000+05:30

That’s how life goes on...

Statutory warning: This blog zn’t worth reading…

INTRODUCTION:

In writing this piece of shit, I have drawn from the relevant memories of my not so sharp brain (it's already 6 a.m. n I wasn’t able to sleep whole nyt so u can guess wht to expect 4m urs truly..). Now those who r still reading..thnx for ur kindness n yeah please don get confused….m still de same.. wasn’t studyin ... watched butterfly effect (awesome movie man!!) n few hours of orkuttin...

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:

I owe my deep sense of gratitude to my insomnia, boredom, fully faaltu conditions and Jain, Ami n Ln for not being here as writin this blog wud be de last thin i cud be doin in tht case (there were far more interesting thins to do)

I am equally grateful to eco mam for canceling tomorrow’s class.. ( actually class z after 2 hrs n 10 mins.. bt I change date in my biological calendar only after 7 hrs sexy sleep…plz don argue whether sleeps r sexy or not…intelligent ppl knw they r….) I heard dis cancelin thin z a rumor bt I don't bother to confirm 4m CR coz. I am not goin to attend that bogus class neways…and I feel really good when there z a justified reason for bunkin …Morphius (matrix says its all in mind…u r wht u think….n situations r as u see them…so I never heard there ws a confusion bout class ..It’s cancelled …: D

I hope all de intellectual readers will find introduction and acknowledgement enough to quit reading…n thnx to all de generous n faaltu souls lyk me who r still here..

Hazaaron Khwahishain 'eisee Ke Har Khwahish Pe Dam Nikle
Bohot Nikle Mere Armaan Lekin Fir Bhee Kam Nikle

Nikalna Khud Se Aadam Ka Sunte Aayain Hain Lekin
Bohot Be_aabru Hokar Tere Kooche Se Ham Nikle

Mohabbat Mein Naheen Hai Farq Jeene Aur Marne Kaa
Usee Ko Dekh Kar Jeete Hain Jis Kaafir Pe Dam Nikle

Khuda Ke Waaste Parda Na Kaabe Se Uthaa Zaalim
Kaheen 'eisa Na Ho Yahan Bhee Wohee Kaafir Sanam Nikle

Kahaan Maikhaane Ka Darwaaza 'ghalib' Aur Kahaan Waaiz
Par Itana Jaante Hain Kal Wo Jaata Tha Ke Ham Nikle

Jagjeet singh sahab ki aawaz mein mirza ghalib ki ghazal ..

de 1 m listenin 4m last 3 hrs…don knw y..neither i listen to 1 song for 3 hrs nor m die hard fan of ghazals... I listen to ghazals n I lyk dem... but dere r few occasions only… when m drunked or whenr I feel low…but right now neither m drunked nor m feelin low…U knw.. dere z a song for every situation …n de literature n songs u lyk at ne particular tym reflects ur state of mind…n m wanderin whts mine…I don knw…really I don…

Life is a journey ... a journey of many miles... with many cross roads... Many a times it’s so clear and visible and yet many a times the fog of time makes everything so obscure. It answers so many questions.. But every answers it conceives a fresh inquisitiveness.. Thats how life goes... I have so many questions left to answer. But candidly speaking.. I don’t know whether all this is what I want to live for.., The decision is wide open! Like life.. Like the night.. Like the moon!

Is this thin getting serious or awkward or senseless or borin???(remove question mark urself…can’t write my puke yukkk myself…..bt I knw it must b 1 out of 4 options for u ppl…) lemme try to xplain de feelings thru a story (nt an interstin1)…n yeah nothin z guaranteed by urs truly neither the fun nor the worth of reading senseless tlks of a poor soul who haven’t slept 4m last 39 hrs….

Wanna write this one seriously… but can’t help it, I believe in humor can convey better than serious tlks…dere z another phrase i lyk ...SILENCE SPEAKS BETTER THAN WORDS…it works when u don hv words…situations where u can examine de usefulness of phrase:

U are sleepin in class..n prof. suddenly asks u a tricky question(though I practice de funda at every quest..)

Ur galfren/boyfren asks u to utter truth bout wht u really feel bout her/him ….

Ur best fren asks how was de coffee she made…

Ur mom asks u whether u r cumin back by 10 in nyt…

Sorry for divertin 4m topic again…yeah …story…

I found a book of astronomy in mom's shelf when i was in 1st std... I wasn’t capable of getting nethin tht ws written but had gone thru evry single word I cud pronounce(gosh!! when I calculated fog* index of tht book durin my last visit to home … it came out to b 16!!)

[*Fog Index is a test designed to measure the readability of a sample of English text. The resulting number is an indication of the number of years of formal education that a person requires in order to easily understand the text on the first reading. That is, if a passage has a fog index of 12, it has the reading level of a U.S. high school senior. The test was developed by Robert Gunning, an American businessman, in 1952.

Formula:

Reference: www.wikepedia.org … (this part z here for de beauty of my blog n to make me feel like a real author)

Images of heavenly bodies ws all I used to fantasize.... I dreamed of moon n stars...Rakesh Sharma(India’s proud astronomer) was my idol….as urs truly grew matured (4th std) ...I read bout black holes, supernova, meteorites ,solar astronomy, galaxies and clusters, cosmology, Hubble… my room lukd more lyk a planetarium wth posters of heavenly bodies all around…

Anshima di were my best fren n legal adviser (qualification: 7^th std student) …whenevr there ws a prob…she was de1 I wud luk for… We used to tlk for hours…one bright morning she told me she’s gonna be a doctor in future… akshay died last nyt in absence of proper care n she decided she wont let this happen again to ne of de other dogs in de locality…to become a doctor ws de only solution…next few days were spent in changing our den to a clinic… we used 1 of de garage in her bungalow as our meeting point…we had 2 keys…n entry was prohibited for outsiders(including our parents n frens…) we had two questions to solve...first.. wht are the thins we needed for our clinic…sec... how to get them...Table explains everythin..

Object	Source	Plan of action	Time	Nature of job	Honor
Stethoscope	Her Dr. aunt(mausi)	Theft	4 pm while she z sleepin	tough	Anshima Di
Medicines	Her mom	Bio mam has asked for…	Netym!!	easy	Anshima Di
Apron	Ankit bhaiyya (our neighbor)	Shreya di(his crush) has asked for..	Netym!!	Very easy	Mine
Table lamp	Shashi aunty (neighbor)	Theft	While she z watchin tv	medium	Anshima di
Prescription diary n posters	Her Dr. aunt(mausi)	request	Netym!!	easy	Anshima Di
Patients (dogs)	Our colony	Utha ke le aao	7-9 pm	medium	Both of us

I was impressed by di’s determination n intelligence…she knew wht she want 4m her lyf… n dumb me …y don I hv ne aim?? 4^th std student must have one…I ws impressed by astronomy bt question ws whether ths astronomy business cud give me a drive lyf long ?? i was confused.. but everythin was crystal clear after I watched few episodes of “I dream of Jeanie”.. astronaut!! …yeah.. I want to b an astronaut…Major Nelson was my new idol(main lead actor in "I dream of Jeanie") ...Anshima di was happy too after listenin to my resolution.. nw we had two parts in our den.. one lukd lyk a clinic n other space station (obviously w/o ne hi-tech instruments)…though we tried a lot to convince my mom to buy a telescope but all in vain..nw when I luk bck.. I think she was afraid of me exploring new galaxy or lyf in cosmos.. jaadu…koi mil gaya …krissh ..finally dangers...

After 3 years when I was in class 7^th n Di in 10^th…. She decided she's not gonna take biology in +2.. thnxz heavens.. she took a right decision...bio wasn't her cup of tea n astronomy wasn't my cup of coffee(i prefer coffee over tea ) Reasons: She fainted evrytym she saw blood n I hv minor form of claustrophobia…nw wht next.. both of us were in dilemma …urgency to take a decision was intense in her case..as she has to apply for her stream next yr…but I took decision first.. I acted in a play in skool n 4m tht day I observed attitude of gals of our class changed towards me…theatre was my new dream.. n Shahrukh was my new idol..Anshima Di's decision was taken by her dad.. she had to apply for math…she joined hell lotta coaching n I was busy in rehearsals .. frequency of our meetings decreased …still we had meetings in weekends bt nw topics of discussion changed …we talked bout our crushes…movies….but our clandestine meetings went undiscovered for years.. coz we had swear to keep de secret of our cult ( wth 2 members only :D)

After her +2 she joined engg ... I was in class 10^th…I realized theatre is gud for fun but its not worth to devote ur lyf too…tht needs a noble cause…I was still thinking…n tht was de toughest tym as durin tht period only I gt hurt in game of love (interested readers can refer to previous blog of mine)…I wrote few poetries…n started scribbling diary…n nxt word tht cme to my mind was Author...yeah author..y not...its a respectable n social job after all...but tht decision didn’t even lasted few months..i wasn't even able to choose my new idol this tym... urs truly lazy Libran have periods of enthu n passion but the count z negligible in comparison to days of laziness..n this writin business needs hell lotta tym...

I decided to give de opportunity of deciding my stream to mom…she refused…how cud she do this to me?? There z a very false tradition in our family…one has to take his own decisions…I don lyk this libertarian attitude 4m very beginin…may b this cud adversely affect innocent child’s personality…how?? I don know how…but surely this practice has adverse effects…[one more example of usefulness of SILENCE SPEAKS BETTER THAN WORDS..u don have words…so keep ur mouth shut..:D] have u watched final destination??? Must watch…there z a dialogue “u get signs”.. I too got one …all of my frens were takin math I followed de tradition…m very loyal too my frens..(thnxz to abhijeet, laddu, navneet n harsh)…

Class 12^th.. m very close to my mausi …most of my vacations r spent at her place only..she z a doctor…I hv thot bout this option too but m very bad at spellings n pronunciation of complex words ..How cud 1 knw correct pronunciation of words lyk Erythropoietin (IPA pronunciation: [ɪˌɹɪθ.ɹoˈpo.ɪ.tɪn], alternative pronunciations: [ɪˌrɪθroʊˈpɔɪtn, əˌrɪθroʊ-, əˌriθroʊ-]…I can’t …never.. but I luvd my Mausa ji’s lyf style…he z a colonel in army…golf, clubs, booze n wht not…thts a royal lyf man!!!..(didn’t mention of wars n all coz I wasn’t able to see 1)...n NDA z de place where I meant to go…(new idol: mausa ji )filled form…cracked written examination…gt thru interview…but I did one mistake..my loyal frens made me fill few other forms too..n unfortunately I gt thru SEE too..i got de best govt coll in our state…suddenly all of my family members forgot de tradition they inhibited 4m their grandparents aeons ago…of givin freedom to take one’s own decision. I was forced to join engg…

Engineering days.. nw when I remem those days there z only one song which comes to my mind..

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I should known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now
That was seems to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you

Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life

Back in Summer of '69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

Back in summer of '69

No doubt…those were de best days of my lyf n ’ll cherish dem for de rest of my lyf…m nt gonna write bout tht tym here …it needs thousands of pages n tht too ‘ll run short.. Jain ,ami ,Ln, Rahul ,Jeevendra,samvedna, neha n few more names I can’t pen down here…miss u all…

Then came last year of engg…again loyalty of urs truly towards his frens made him to write CAT.. nw he z pursuin MBA 4m a gud college …but this isn’t wht I want to be…nah!!

Life is a journey ... a journey of many miles... with many cross roads.. Many a times it’s so clear and visible and yet many a times the fog of time makes everything so obscure. It answers so many questions.. But every answers it conceives a fresh inquisitiveness.. That’s how life goes... I have so many questions left to answer. But candidly speaking.. I don’t know whether all this is what I want to live for.., The decision is wide open! Like life.. Like the night.. Like the moon!

My visual DNA

2006-10-31T04:53:00.000+05:30

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2006-10-29T23:09:00.000+05:30

I wish tym cud run back...

Everythin seems so borin..monotonous..irritating..depressing..nt gettin more adjectives (n m nt at all in mood to use my brain 2 find few more) these r enuf 2 define my state of my mind ..its not tht nethin z wrong ..neither I sound so depressin on a regular basis(I can't write generally here coz i hv very subsequent mood swings) n if dere exists ne scale 2 measure it I cud bet my ass it will run short..

I miss my mom. I miss her advices (though I never listened to dem) bt I loved being preached lyk a 5th std kid. I love her scolding (she luks so sweet tht I wonder I supposedly made her angry 2 get tht luk on her face) I miss fighting wth my younger bro n sis. I still remem when they team up 2gether to fight wth me..They told me years later they used to make a whole plan of action (gosh how cud hv they read organizational behavior while they were 5 n 7)..I wish tym cud run back

I miss my room filled wth jadeza's posters. I had a deal wth my mom tht if I stood first in class then only she will subscribe to 5 sports magazines in a month..n wth Jadeza's blessings n my pious worship towards him I managed to do de impossible task. I never read nethin of it but articles on him n man… only I knw how tough it ws to cut his pic out of 14 team members of a loosing side who barely manage to get a snap of half a size of page (actually 1/4th) in magazine... bt when urs truly grew smart n matured in class 4th then he subscribed to cheaper cricket samrat which had snaps n articles on loosing bt ours only India’s very own team ...here i want to confess smthin to all of u...all de Indian team's fans....I want ur forgiveness for prayin defeat of Indian team in test matches...as may Jadeza get a breakthru in test matches. God...he ws awesum!!!..n still his talks can distract me n example z m loosing de grip of topic...bt can't help it m lyk tht only since my journey from 1.5 kg to 73 kg ....I miss being 39 kg... I wish tym cud run back...

I miss bunking classes for playing cricket....though I still bunk classes bt nw there zn't ne worthy reason behind de respectable act of brave warriors against studies. I miss my second love(though she never came 2 knew tht I loved her bt I wont call it crush coz I always compared luv wth worship n crush wth lust...gr8 me..tyt dialogue maara hai)yeah u muz be thinkin bout my first love...I don miss her coz bcoz(may b incorrect sentence bt I can sacrifice proper English for rhyming words...sounds nice...coz becoz!!) hey...u knw there r many types of rhyming words...e.g.
first type - coz becoz
sec type- guitar vuitar
third type-t v
fourth type-seeta geeta
sorry again for diverting 4m de topic...yeah I was tellin I don miss my first love coz she made me stand in front of every1 every time(sort of rhyming again)I was caught sleepin in class..it ws so embarrassing ...yeah she was my teacher...

I miss those days..when I used to love my second love.. I still remem when I was in class 7^th n she was in 6^th(I evn remem de tym n date bt wont write it coz m nt subodh kumar of dch)…hw cud she luk so sweeeeeeet..goshhh!! My first luv lasted six years….I miss talkin to her.. still remem everytlk we had…n guess wht m gonna share all wth u…don b afraid m nt writin few hundred of pages here for accountin my six yrs tlk …

Before telling de whole story I must tell u I believe in first impression z last impression…

Class 7^th- we haven’t exchanged a word coz I didn’t felt myself smart enuf to tlk 2 a princess..(after all first impression z last impression…)

Class 8^th-I worked hard n secured 1^st position in all sections ..bt does tht makes a diff…she was one year junior..may b she didn’t heard de miracle..So hw cud I make a move at wrong tym ( first impression z last impression after all…)still I wasn’t even able to say hi to tht angel..

Class 9^th-eneterd into clg politics …wrkd really hard in every sense(key word ) to becum basketball captain n dramatics coordinator…nw I ws sure she can correlate my face n name…bt I didn’t wanted any loop hole.. (Yeah u got it right .. first impression z last impression…)…so still no exchange of words..

Class 10^th- That was a normal routine day n I was playin basketball in lunch tym ….n I heard a sweet voice callin me…I can’t believe my eyes when I turned back..she asked me to coach her for playin basketball n only I know how I managed to cntrl already overflowing emotions of mine n replied in affirmative callin her nxt day…but after she left one of my fren told me tht she shudn’t have called me bhaiyya …I didn’t heard tht…I swear I didn’t....bt after 3 hours of long discussion I was convinced(forcibly) by my frens tht she abused me by tht gaali…n I decided not to talk to her again …I was broke…completely broke..didn’t went to skool for a week..listened to all de sad songs I could search…

She didn’t asked fr basketball again(I was happy... thinking… its better 2 b alone than havin such a careless galfren..hw cud she forget she needed trainin in basketball …careless fool!!)

Class 11^th- I thought to make her jealous by makin a hot galfren…[:D] …made a 1 month mission wth my best fren to trap de babe of our skool ..Miss u 2 baby……. Leavin de details just telling u de results…we were successful… bt tht didn’t made de slightest diff in her behavior.. but my first responsibility(I already defined love as worship …crush as lust …n there z a third kind… responsibility ..u can’t define it wth one word it needs three…PAIN IN ASS…)was really irritating….we broke up in 2 months…then I had one more relation (type of relation: responsibility) but my second love didn’t lasted…then I made a decision(it takes tym man!!m a libran ) tht I have to fight back(don knw wth whom…may b wth Mr. destiny ) 2 win her back(lyk she was mine…)

Class 12^th- At de same tym I had made frenship wth her sister …she was in same class as mine but in diff section..as our frenship grew older I came 2 know she already had a boyfren smwhere outside….again I searched fr same sad songs n guess wat it was easier this tym to search them coz I dubbed them all in two cassettes …n searchin 2 cassettes is far easier than searchin 20 songs…Urs truly ws smart at tht tym 2…n I didn’t went to skool for 2 weeks this tym…pain was greater ..after all my love was 5 yrs 5 months old..months passed n came de last days of skool …n guess wht…. obviously we nvr tlkd again(its my story after all)

Let me add …we never tlked bt tht ws till few months back…I got her fren request in orkut... we tlk …bt its diff nw …time change.. circumstances change…people change…n so do feelings …n urs truly zn’t ne exception.. I wish tym cud run back….