September 27, 2007
August 13, 2007
Psychotic!!
I shall be doing my project right now instead of writing down some bullshit which I am also not very clear about.. but as a great philosopher (thats yours truly) has said “Its not the act but the time of its commencement which gives you satisfaction or adventure or fun whichever u are longing to derive”. Opportunity cost of this writeup (sounds gud…can’t call my puke yukk myself..) is the chance of standing in de lecture tomorrow facing that stupid prof’s idiotic quests which I am giving up by not attending his class.. so its not a bad decision I guess.. n now it doesn’t matter coz he already have plans for me :D… have attended 2 out of his 12 lectures…n he didn’t took attendance in those 2 classes.. so effectively m having zero percent attendance in a college which claims itself among top 10 B-schools n demands 75% attendance to sit in the exam.
Anyways.. chuck it!! Today m going to introduce you with a character which I guess ‘ll keep coming in my posts in future… Though he didn’t have any probz in putting his name in de blog.. I asked him to suggest a nick which I can use in de posts for de sake of anonymity…within seconds he told his choice.. n I wasn’t able to refuse his humble request.. so lemme introduce u to Mr Hugga Tea(HT)..
Well.. not his fault.. its de present state of being.. In coming days, we have decided to spent our time on Quality things only .. n our first research topic is psychotic personalities.. but everything requires a sacrifice.. Author must feel the character he z writing n an actor must feel the character he z playin.. ’av you ever noticed while watching a movie or reading a novel knowingly or unknowingly you start trying to correlate the characters with the real ones around you…n if movie’s main lead isn’t Mithun or RajniKant n novel’s author isn’t Ved Prakash Sharma …generally you are the virtual hero/heroine in de plot n de other leading character is de one you are presently fallen for[not your gf/bf everytime ;)] all de Romeo-Juliets don take it personally!!
Same is the case with HT.. if he should have asked me de nick of ma choice for his story.. it could be something like.. ‘khooni haiwan’ or ‘thirsty predator’ or may be ‘ganja guthli’ .. this heavy literature n psychotic movies are driving us crazy but at the same time I guess we are enjoying it..
Well.. I am not going to discuss our findings n my own feelings here.. there is another blog that I share with Mr HT n another fren of mine.. but that is more of a personal thingy n its written in very raw manner n without any censor so leave it… moreover as I said…people generally like stories which they can relate with themselves.. n its not that kinda story so most of you will not find it worth reading.. so lemme tell you de same topic in a bit sophisticated way(which I doubt :D)…
Leaving apart english movies as most of them have a strong plot (I wont say we Indians prefer imported stuffs..aaj hi chak de dekhi hai yaar..) lets talk bout Indian flicks .DDLJ is all time hit n Shabd(one of de best plot.. I ‘av ever seen in any Hindi movie) or Dil se(my fv8) are big time flops.. simple fact is most of us don’t like what we can’t relate with us or something which isn’t acceptable in our definition …here starts the territory of psychotic characters….
I am tryin to explain it in as simple way as I can.. But believe me its not so simple.. coz its not you…its not me(I guess… :D) . This whole stuff started with International Marketing lecture..
Prof: What do you think is the difference between animals and human being?
HT: Culture n society.
Me: Animals follow Instincts (not to him.. I like putting mute button on ma lips in class)
Few other guys shared their own views..
Prof (To HT): True..
I didn’t listened much of what he said later as I am not used to attending classes n if I do then too ma mind is somewhere else.. thinking bout some other place.. some other thing.. Few days back HT comes to me n a discussion started ..leaving the minute details lemme put de core of the discussion …
We are taught to behave in a socially acceptable manner. Definitions and culture may vary according to country, religion, cast etc. but in every culture there are certain defined or not defined rules or ways that most of us abide. Its not the same with animals. The difference between animals and human being is animals follow their instincts. Thats there method of survival which keeps them safe. When a child is born he don’t know he is beautiful or ugly, people tell him …your girl friend tells you how romantic you are …your teacher tells you are intelligent…n you make a perception of yourself…perception which isn’t yours actually…self image you can say…which you make with help of those around you..
You start actin accordingly…to make de image strong.. acceptance is de motive behind.. most of us don oppose something wrong even if we know its wrong coz people around us aren’t going to support de thought.. This kind of people are externally driven.. they need acceptance in every step of their life.. they derive confidence from support n acceptance ..majority of human beings falls under this category…
Then there are those who don’t need any acceptance.. they are the kinds who ‘ll oppose something if they think its wrong.. its not much a concern for them what others think about any issue.. these people are internally driven… there are few attention seekers too but don’t confuse them with de above kind ..they ‘ll oppose every thing…every damn thing to attract the attention…they don’t have depth in their thoughts..
There is one more type….they also don’t need any acceptance… rather they hate it.. its a fun for them to do things which are prohibited.. they are different from de attention seekers coz they don’t do anything to gain attention …they are different from internally driven people coz their deeds are not governed by de logic of right or wrong.. they are unpredictable.. you can’t guess what ‘ll be their next step.. Psychotic is de word.. They are not your friend.. they aren’t your enemy.. they are self obsessed ..they could be in love with themselves…or they may love hurting themselves..
either hate or love could be the driving factor.. they wont give a second thought to harm anyone.. extremities is what they love de most…They have very intense passion…it could be positive ..it could be negative.. but its always there for a sure.. they could be dangerous.. very dangerous indeed…
So next time you meet one of them…stay away!!
But I love such characters…I love psychotic literature.. I love psychotic movies…I heard... people like stories which they can relate with themselves ;)
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Invincible
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3:54 AM
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July 20, 2007
I am a rock,I am an island...
A winter's day in a deep and dark December-
I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below
on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow,
I am a rock, I am an island.
I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain,
I am a rock, I am an island.
Don't talk of love-
well, I've heard the word before, it's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died,
if I never loved I never would have cried,
I am a rock, I am an island.
I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
I am shielded in my armor.
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb,
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain and an island never cries
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Invincible
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2:44 PM
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June 30, 2007
Serendepity...
Last two months were just awesome...spent really good tym wth few old frens n few new ones...though endings are not always perfect but..
"I was nvr one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole is as good as new. what is broken is broken- and i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as i lived..."- Rhet Butler
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Invincible
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1:22 AM
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May 03, 2007
Summers@Gurgaon
20th april:
So here I am back again…can’t quote my bizzyness as de reason for not scribbling here in last few days.. schedule isn’t very busy but I am trying making it as much busy as possible. I don’t want to laze around doing nothing or watching movies… I am fucking bored with de routine schedule from last one year so when I came to Maruti Udyog Ltd for my summer training I was pretty excited…few of my really good coll time frens r here in Gurgaon n Delhi…new place…old frens…a job to do…everything sounds perfect!!
But why the hell...things don’t fall on the right places… starting with my summer project.. project is quiet important for Maruti .. didn’t knew it when I got to know about the project in ma college… but enthu of whole of supply chain division towards the project says so.. when rest of my frens are not getting the basic information they needed from their project guides.. our project guide accompany us to all the places we need to visit…deciding objective n strategic planning took 4 days.. n now when we are all set to go… we are not getting the fucking data we need .. reason behind-responsibility to provide data doesn’t fall under duty of any of the division …n scm people don’t have data we require… have u ever seen office-office … I didn’t knew even pvt firms have such a culture… our project guide n another guy took us to the IT deptt… their reply “we have stopped providing such confidential(lol)data without the permission of authorities.”
When we went back with permission letter …they told us it will take few days…they were not sure of count.. may be 5 …may be 20..meeting with Vice President of spares was more of a comedy session …that 50+ somethin man was not even ready to listen to our guide …meeting went for 2 n half hours without any result…I am damn sure he didn’t even had any hint by the end of discussion that what data is required so urgently… but it’t not his fault…I’av always believed in there are people who are always satisfied n happy with conditions n then there are those who are not…there is no third category ….he falls under second category… he received atleast 15 calls during that 2n half hrs period…n after listenin to de replies to all of those calls in his monotonous tone I was sure he’s not gonna help us out…
One more thing which I am not sure whether to pen down or not is about a sweet Chipkali! I saw her in our induction session on very first day in Maruti.. ours was a batch of 31 trainees 4m different colleges.. NITIE, FMS, MDI, IMT, SCMHRD, IIFT.. I was not interested in talking to anyone .. it’s not like I had friends from my college there that’s why…but last few years has changed me a lot…if this would be 2-3 years b4.. then I would be sorting out good lookin gals on priority basis …lol…still remember those days when we had a list n a plan of action ready for every situation…though it never worked out for me…I mean all de gals I had crush on.. they never came to know bout my feelings…I somewhere lack in taking initiatives in this field.. I just don’t like listening NO.. I tried changin myself a lot but all in vain… all such relations I have been through started by mistake…through common frens…with someone n somewhere I never expected…but now I am enjoyin ma freedom!!
Introduction started n my poor memory was able to retain only one name by de end of tht intro session ..obviously hers … believe me that was not intentional! induction session was of 2 days .I came to know there only…. after induction few have to stay in the plant n others have to go to different corporate offices.. n next moment I was checking out what she has to do… by my good luck she has to stay in plant only but our offices were in different buildings.. first day passed ...no conversation… when I came back next day I knew I just had 8 hours …plant visit was scheduled for first two hours of my mission… n that was the best opportunity to start a conversation… there I noticed her dashing walking style!! Lol.. she walks like a lil gundi!! Leaving the minute details of my observation during that period …just telling u …I wasn’t able to say a hi!.. but god knows how…when she was bout to enter in the class I heard a voice…. you 4m …. College?? I noticed it was my voice only…man!! that was moment of pride…after 2 days (actually after 22 years) finally I said hi to someone I really wished to… thnx heavens ! she replied back to my question… then few formal interview types questions…name college project n all…I knew the answers b4 .. I wished to ask r u single? But dropped the idea… our conversation lasted 2 minutes for a max n we were back to the induction room…I thought to sit next to her…but it could be embarrassing ….what if she change her seat?? What if she didn’t liked it?? N few more possible what ifs took me back to de back bench where I used to sit 4m de very first day of my skool life.
‘ll complete the story later.. m already dozin off…
3rd may:
well…just returned back from cafĂ© coffee day..n its 3:30 am.. n I’av to be in my office by 8:45 am. Finally we got de data few days back n project is goin quiet fine. There’s a lot of work to be done tomorrow.. so again m not gonna complete de story…but telling u de latest development.. she has to complete rest of her project 4m Delhi corporate office…n I haven’t seen her since last one week ..we tlk once or twice a day thru ph.. as usual crush(sort of..) z over.. I got it after an hour of tlk…but she z sweet...
m really enjoyin this period n I hope it to not last soon… I don wanna go back to that MBA coll..
life here is just as I wished to it to be …frens, parties n all….’av joined a gym, now I drink liquor occasionally (once in a week or two), black coffee took beer’s place, though I still drag some 25 fags but this z de thing I would never wanna change, ‘av started reading again…n rite now m literally in love with Shantaram , ‘av finally put an end to few other stuffs which I don wanna discuss here…
When wish and fear are exactly the same
We call the dream a nightmare….- Gregory David Roberts(Shantaram)
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Invincible
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4:03 AM
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April 01, 2007
Professionalism!!
.
I just came across a site! www.myheritage.com ..You upload a snap and site scans it n tells which celebrity you look like…n I came to know my face resembles with Alizee…lol.. n my crush (obviously a gal) looks like Zayed Khan.. It also gives the percentage.. So your’s truly looks 67% like Alizee…But let me clear three things to all of you havin diff taste(not straight)..
1) I am perfectly straight
2) I haven’t shaved since last month.
3) I don’t look like Alizee
We 'av exams 4m tomorrow.. but I haven't started studying for the very first exam.. Anyways..chuck it!! I know you haven't visited my blog for gathering information about my preps..n if you are my batch mate then too it doesn't matter ...as I am not among the ones whose CGPA you are constantly monitoring for getting a reason to study a lil bit more!! Exams 'av always been an adventure for me. It’s a question of passing with minimum effort..it proves u r a smart worker!! I believe in competing against myself.. n mind u!! I am getting better after every single module!! School days were the worst. I used to study before two months.. Board exams preps took one month (opportunity cost: a hot babe I was following since 6 months)..Engineering was one night stand!! n now I can bet I am de most insincere student (smart worker: my terminology) in our whole batch.. Why to study all de topics?? If you can pass the exam by attempting half of the paper!! Though I never completed whole of my syllabus during any point of my educational life.. but there is a difference..I managed to pass with a descent score yet.. but now it’s a different case..
Management is global fart!! And you must know how to fart on every damn topic… if u are not attempting every single question or if you are putting your answers to the point.. that means you are incompetent!! You must know how to complicate the simple things and then to present ‘em in a manner which ‘ll give it a face of complex situation. This is the top management lesson!! This is the lesson which ‘ll earn your bread and ‘ll give you a reputation..
Fuck!! See even I am giving Gyan(fart)..
One more thing that I’av been observing here is the relationships.. Professionalism is the word they use!! Few days back one of my very good fren here described me what exactly it means.. He said “ When you ‘ll be working with any organization then you’ll watch there are guys who go through the simple route n then there are ones who shows exceptional growth.. It’s not like they are extraordinarily good at work or something.. they just act smart … they maintain good PRs with the concerned boss n they don’t consider anyone friend.. you ‘av to pull some one back to get ahead”. Then he explained the concept with some examples.. both of his ex-company’s n our college..
He was not wrong. I ‘av seen many such relationships here. You can’t say two people are friends if they pass 16 out of 24 hours together.. You can’t say two people are in love if they are having sex thrice a day.. But Best part is understanding!! There are couples who come out of their room (adjusting there fits)… with phone on their ears.. while talking to their gf/bf (permanent one.. )… guy goes to one corner ..gal on another…then again back to room.. no questions asked!! This is called professionalism!!
We often have discussion over this PR thngy..But...there is a problem with me.. I can’t talk just for de heck of it.. I just talk to those whom I like in some manner.. Its not like I’av any air of arrogance or I am shy or any such thin…but at least your frequency should match..I feel you always walk alone..then why to expect from others? You don’t take decisions with options starting with… if he/if she..
Yeah!! Few relations are worth.. n they are by your side irrespective of situations.. but they are not this hi/bye types professional PRs…
Sometimes I think .. I should also talk to few more guys in our batch.. make some so called PRs.. but then I think.. I’av some very good friends and …I am better this way only… life is good living at your own terms!!
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Invincible
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5:52 AM
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March 21, 2007
Finding Neverland..
I dream of Jeanie used to be the favorite serial of mine when I was in 5th standard. One blink of eyes and you are back to the past. I wished to have one such Jeanie to pass my exams. X-mas eve used to be the most awaited day at that time. Mom fooled us for years giving gifts in Santa’s red socks. We wrote demands one day in advance in a piece of paper n then used to keep it in the small temple in our verandah. I never understood the connection between temple n Santa but Mom said it is the same thing. There is only one God… just the ways to remember him are different. I believed her.
Now, neither I dream of Jeanie excites me nor X-mas eve gives me an adrenaline rush. Sometimes I think what is changed in me? Why don’t I feel excited in any of the damn thing? When I directed n acted in plays, “expressionless” was the word I used to call to the actors who didn’t act properly. Fuck ‘ol ..Now I can use the most hated word for any theatre person to myself.. that too in real life.. Expressions are lost somewhere .. Somewhere in the journey of life they fade into oblivion..
I still remember when we bunked school 7 days in a row for a cricket tournament.. We got suspended for a month from school and our pocket money got suspended for two months.. now I don even feel like going to the field. Yeah! I also had a collection of comic books ..some 1000+ comics were there in my library . There was a shopkeeper in a comic store. He never gave me proper time to search to add masterpieces in my library. He even denied giving comics in my hand before the purchase. I always believed in…HAR GALTI KI SAZA HOTI HAI..So I stole some 10 comic from his stall with the help of a friend.. Those were the days.. that sweet smile of my school time crush was more exciting as compared to fucking a hot babe now..
Neutrality z de present state of being…I hope its just a passing phase.. Now I am eagerly waitin for my summer training…to be in the company of my coll time frens …
I watched Finding Neverland few days back and I was back to the past for two hours…Movie covers a short period of the life of Sir James Matthew Barrie (the writer), between the release of his last play and his classic masterpiece Peter Pan. Best part was seeing how the people and events around the author have inspired the play, and afterwards, how the play has affected them (Sylvia, her children, her mother and even an audience of all ages...) it makes you realize that even though the story of Peter Pan seems simple, it is rich with symbolisms and metaphors.
The author strongly believed that the power of imagination can overcome age, sickness and death, and he tried to pass it on to everyone, but most importantly to the people he cared about (when he showed Sylvia Neverland)…Depp ,Winslet n de kids are awesome…Now I want to read “The man who was Peter pan”…
Movie leaves few questions left unsaid.. But It gives a hope…n I juz watched an episode of I dream of Jeanie…
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Invincible
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8:01 PM
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February 12, 2007
India and Communal Riots...
Few days back I watched Parzania with my engg time friends …though I wasn’t in mood of watching any serious movie but its not easy to get tickets of any new English flick or any good romantic movie on Saturdays in Pune… and all of us are lazy enough to call up in morning for tele booking .. So having no other option left to pass time till 11 in night we entered E-Square.. One of ma friend was like “Now this z the best thing we could do before going to a disc.. Can’t we go to any where else??” but thanks to Ms NO.. She wasn’t in mood to travel…Ms NO is girlfriend of one of my friend…she has got only one reply for any damn question. NO…….
Wanna have burger?? NO… its not good here
How about coffee in Mac D? NO… they serve bournvita in cup of coffee
Pizza?? NO… Pizza in Pune sux!!
You think I am exaggerating?? But I am not…she just knows one word…NO.. at least every sentence of hers starts with a NO.. you could be thinking …How there relation started if she replies just in NO…so there is a story behind the only YES of her life.. My friend is a shy guy so straight forward proposal was out of the question.. anyhow he managed her e-mail id.. mailed her some 10-12 times asking her for a date… told her where he used to stand in canteen of their office to get a glimpse of her.. and other regular flirting stuffs.. but de reply he always got was just a simple NO… Now you must be thinking whats strange in this… this is the most probable reply from any gal…but strange is the logic why she accepted her proposal… guy is 6+ with smart looks and decent demeanor …he has got a good reputation in their company.. many of her friends are over him…but all this wasn’t the reason she said the only YES of her life.. she accepted her proposal as he was the first person to wish her HAPPY BUDDAY …now what kinda logic is this I wasn’t able to understand but she very proudly narrates their love story and then the turning point HAPPY BUDDAY…what if the poor guy gets late by few seconds.. What if he felt like going to loo at 12??
Yeah.. sorry from diverting from the topic.. So Ms NO’s another NO made us to watch Parzania .. Somehow I feel most of the right decisions of mine are made after having no other option left.. this is the tragedy of my life.. I always want to do things as I wish to but most of the times I end up doing something else.. something I never wished to… engineering …mba …all of my old affairs…I never wanted to get myself involved in any of them.. So I have changed my view towards looking at things …now I believe in everything happens for a good reason.. Coming back to the movie…
I had already written in my previous entries.. I don’t like narrating stories or giving my expert reviews on movies…as I like most of the movies and I don’t watch movies for finding loose ends or appreciating the story line or direction but still there are movies which left an impact…Parzania was one of them..
Gujarat Riots
Godhra witnessed one of the brutal acts of humanity in Gandhi’s very own state
Post effect:
The images from the train burning were broadcast in print as well as the electronic media, especially in local Gujarati language newspapers. The Chief Minister of the BJP ruled state, Narendra Modi ordered a state funeral for the deceased in the train burning incident. The timings of the arrival of the dead bodies to the state capital Ahmedabad were advertised on the radio may have contributed to a very large turnout of people in an already charged atmosphere. Modi blamed the Pakistani secret service Inter Services Intelligence behind the incident. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad issued a call for a peaceful statewide bandh on
Attacks on Muslims
A senior member of the BJP said that for two days the party told its cadres "you can settle your account." By that, he meant take revenge for the attack on a train by a Muslim mob, which sparked off the violence in Ahmedabad and elsewhere in the state. Most of the press reported that the police did nothing to stop the violence in the early days. In one of the camps where some of the tens of thousands of Muslim refugees fleeing from the clashes were living, refugees said time and time again that the police had taken part in the rioting. Some refugees also alleged that BJP legislators had been involved too.Police inaction and BJP encouragement might account for the size of the mobs but it doesn't explain their barbarity, particularly raping women and burning the victims.
Nobody had any explanation for that.
Attacks on Hindus
In September 2002, at least 29 people were killed when suspected Islamic fundamentalist gunmen engaged in the
Role of Government and Police
The Modi led state government was reprimanded at various levels including the National Parliament, Supreme Court and internationally. It was observed that the
Casualties-
Gujarati Muslims killed : 790 dead
Gujarati Hindus killed : 254 dead
Aftermath
The Indian government's compensation policies offered 200,000 rupees for families with dead members on the train and 100,000 rupees for families who had relatives die in the riots.
But can any sum of money turn back the time?? we all know what answer z…Those orphans are never going to see de faces of their parents again…those widows ‘ll never be able to live the normal life.. Those mothers ‘ll never be able to kiss the forehead of the ones they’ve loved most in their life… they all ‘ll feel equal pain irrespective of the language of their prayers ..Unlike the opposite directions they face while remembering their gods they ‘ll feel same direction of sorrow…
Its not just
Mahatma Gandhi, father of our nation derived great moral strength from Bhagavad gita, which is evident in his words:
"The Geeta is the universal mother. I find a solace in the Bhagavadgeeta that I miss even in the Sermon on the Mount. When disappointment stares me in the face and all alone I see not one ray of light, I go back to the Bhagavad Gita. I find a verse here and a verse there, and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming tragedies - and my life has been full of external tragedies - and if they have left no visible or indelible scar on me, I owe it all to the teaching of Bhagavad Gita."
Gandhi jee could have found inspiration in Gita for fighting every single problem he encountered in his life but in any of the verses he couldn’t have got a mildest hint for hating other religions.
Muhammad often retreated to
Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created- Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most
Only ALMIGHTY is creator in any religion…then who are we to destroy his most beautiful creation…
I heard few of my Hindu friends favoring the mob attack on Muslims after Godhra incident as it was necessary to redeem the pride of Hindus…same feeling was of few Muslims after the attacks on a Muslim majority Chawl in Mumbai…then happened Mumbai Bomb Blasts of 93…leaving few hundred corpses of both the religions…but 2 things were common in all of ‘em…they all were INDIANS and COMMON MEN…Neither the politicians were killed nor does the riches gt injured…. Does these kind of attacks are planned by common men of any religion??? What do you expect from someone who doesn’t even have time to come out of the web of their own problems…they are just sufferers irrespective of the religion they follow…
We all must have recited these lines many times…
Jana gana mana adhinayaka, jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha
Dravida Utkala Banga
Vindhya Himachal Yamuna
Uchchhala Jaladhi taranga.
Tava shubha name jage,
Tava shubha ashisha mage,
Gahe tava jaya gatha,
Jana gana mangala dayaka jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Jaya he, Jaya he, Jaya he,
Jaya jaya jaya, jaya he!
What does these lines means?? Why did we used to recite these lines every morning in our school time?? Since school days we are taught
Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people,
dispenser of
Thy name rouses the hearts of
in the Dravida country, Utkala (Orissa) and
It echoes in the hills of the Vindhyas and
it mingles in the rhapsodies of the pure waters Jamuna and the
They chant only thy name,
they seek only thy blessings,
They sing only thy praise.
The saving of all people waits in thy hand,
thou dispenser of
Victory, Victory, Victory, Victory to thee.
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11:25 PM
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