I am a rock,I am an island...

A winter's day in a deep and dark December-
I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below
on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow,
I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain,
I am a rock, I am an island.

Don't talk of love-
well, I've heard the word before, it's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died,
if I never loved I never would have cried,
I am a rock, I am an island.


I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
I am shielded in my armor.
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb,
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain and an island never cries

Serendepity...

Last two months were just awesome...spent really good tym wth few old frens n few new ones...though endings are not always perfect but..

"I was nvr one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole is as good as new. what is broken is broken- and i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as i lived..."- Rhet Butler

Summers@Gurgaon

20th april:

So here I am back again…can’t quote my bizzyness as de reason for not scribbling here in last few days.. schedule isn’t very busy but I am trying making it as much busy as possible. I don’t want to laze around doing nothing or watching movies… I am fucking bored with de routine schedule from last one year so when I came to Maruti Udyog Ltd for my summer training I was pretty excited…few of my really good coll time frens r here in Gurgaon n Delhi…new place…old frens…a job to do…everything sounds perfect!!

But why the hell...things don’t fall on the right places… starting with my summer project.. project is quiet important for Maruti .. didn’t knew it when I got to know about the project in ma college… but enthu of whole of supply chain division towards the project says so.. when rest of my frens are not getting the basic information they needed from their project guides.. our project guide accompany us to all the places we need to visit…deciding objective n strategic planning took 4 days.. n now when we are all set to go… we are not getting the fucking data we need .. reason behind-responsibility to provide data doesn’t fall under duty of any of the division …n scm people don’t have data we require… have u ever seen office-office … I didn’t knew even pvt firms have such a culture… our project guide n another guy took us to the IT deptt… their reply “we have stopped providing such confidential(lol)data without the permission of authorities.”

When we went back with permission letter …they told us it will take few days…they were not sure of count.. may be 5 …may be 20..meeting with Vice President of spares was more of a comedy session …that 50+ somethin man was not even ready to listen to our guide …meeting went for 2 n half hours without any result…I am damn sure he didn’t even had any hint by the end of discussion that what data is required so urgently… but it’t not his fault…I’av always believed in there are people who are always satisfied n happy with conditions n then there are those who are not…there is no third category ….he falls under second category… he received atleast 15 calls during that 2n half hrs period…n after listenin to de replies to all of those calls in his monotonous tone I was sure he’s not gonna help us out…

One more thing which I am not sure whether to pen down or not is about a sweet Chipkali! I saw her in our induction session on very first day in Maruti.. ours was a batch of 31 trainees 4m different colleges.. NITIE, FMS, MDI, IMT, SCMHRD, IIFT.. I was not interested in talking to anyone .. it’s not like I had friends from my college there that’s why…but last few years has changed me a lot…if this would be 2-3 years b4.. then I would be sorting out good lookin gals on priority basis …lol…still remember those days when we had a list n a plan of action ready for every situation…though it never worked out for me…I mean all de gals I had crush on.. they never came to know bout my feelings…I somewhere lack in taking initiatives in this field.. I just don’t like listening NO.. I tried changin myself a lot but all in vain… all such relations I have been through started by mistake…through common frens…with someone n somewhere I never expected…but now I am enjoyin ma freedom!!

Introduction started n my poor memory was able to retain only one name by de end of tht intro session ..obviously hers … believe me that was not intentional! induction session was of 2 days .I came to know there only…. after induction few have to stay in the plant n others have to go to different corporate offices.. n next moment I was checking out what she has to do… by my good luck she has to stay in plant only but our offices were in different buildings.. first day passed ...no conversation… when I came back next day I knew I just had 8 hours …plant visit was scheduled for first two hours of my mission… n that was the best opportunity to start a conversation… there I noticed her dashing walking style!! Lol.. she walks like a lil gundi!! Leaving the minute details of my observation during that period …just telling u …I wasn’t able to say a hi!.. but god knows how…when she was bout to enter in the class I heard a voice…. you 4m …. College?? I noticed it was my voice only…man!! that was moment of pride…after 2 days (actually after 22 years) finally I said hi to someone I really wished to… thnx heavens ! she replied back to my question… then few formal interview types questions…name college project n all…I knew the answers b4 .. I wished to ask r u single? But dropped the idea… our conversation lasted 2 minutes for a max n we were back to the induction room…I thought to sit next to her…but it could be embarrassing ….what if she change her seat?? What if she didn’t liked it?? N few more possible what ifs took me back to de back bench where I used to sit 4m de very first day of my skool life.

‘ll complete the story later.. m already dozin off…

3rd may:

well…just returned back from café coffee day..n its 3:30 am.. n I’av to be in my office by 8:45 am. Finally we got de data few days back n project is goin quiet fine. There’s a lot of work to be done tomorrow.. so again m not gonna complete de story…but telling u de latest development.. she has to complete rest of her project 4m Delhi corporate office…n I haven’t seen her since last one week ..we tlk once or twice a day thru ph.. as usual crush(sort of..) z over.. I got it after an hour of tlk…but she z sweet...


m really enjoyin this period n I hope it to not last soon… I don wanna go back to that MBA coll..

life here is just as I wished to it to be …frens, parties n all….’av joined a gym, now I drink liquor occasionally (once in a week or two), black coffee took beer’s place, though I still drag some 25 fags but this z de thing I would never wanna change, ‘av started reading again…n rite now m literally in love with Shantaram , ‘av finally put an end to few other stuffs which I don wanna discuss here…

When wish and fear are exactly the same
We call the dream a nightmare….- Gregory David Roberts(Shantaram)

Professionalism!!

.



I just came across a site! www.myheritage.com ..You upload a snap and site scans it n tells which celebrity you look like…n I came to know my face resembles with Alizee…lol.. n my crush (obviously a gal) looks like Zayed Khan.. It also gives the percentage.. So your’s truly looks 67% like Alizee…But let me clear three things to all of you havin diff taste(not straight)..
1) I am perfectly straight
2) I haven’t shaved since last month.
3) I don’t look like Alizee

We 'av exams 4m tomorrow.. but I haven't started studying for the very first exam.. Anyways..chuck it!! I know you haven't visited my blog for gathering information about my preps..n if you are my batch mate then too it doesn't matter ...as I am not among the ones whose CGPA you are constantly monitoring for getting a reason to study a lil bit more!! Exams 'av always been an adventure for me. It’s a question of passing with minimum effort..it proves u r a smart worker!! I believe in competing against myself.. n mind u!! I am getting better after every single module!! School days were the worst. I used to study before two months.. Board exams preps took one month (opportunity cost: a hot babe I was following since 6 months)..Engineering was one night stand!! n now I can bet I am de most insincere student (smart worker: my terminology) in our whole batch.. Why to study all de topics?? If you can pass the exam by attempting half of the paper!! Though I never completed whole of my syllabus during any point of my educational life.. but there is a difference..I managed to pass with a descent score yet.. but now it’s a different case..

Management is global fart!! And you must know how to fart on every damn topic… if u are not attempting every single question or if you are putting your answers to the point.. that means you are incompetent!! You must know how to complicate the simple things and then to present ‘em in a manner which ‘ll give it a face of complex situation. This is the top management lesson!! This is the lesson which ‘ll earn your bread and ‘ll give you a reputation..

Fuck!! See even I am giving Gyan(fart)..

One more thing that I’av been observing here is the relationships.. Professionalism is the word they use!! Few days back one of my very good fren here described me what exactly it means.. He said “ When you ‘ll be working with any organization then you’ll watch there are guys who go through the simple route n then there are ones who shows exceptional growth.. It’s not like they are extraordinarily good at work or something.. they just act smart … they maintain good PRs with the concerned boss n they don’t consider anyone friend.. you ‘av to pull some one back to get ahead”. Then he explained the concept with some examples.. both of his ex-company’s n our college..

He was not wrong. I ‘av seen many such relationships here. You can’t say two people are friends if they pass 16 out of 24 hours together.. You can’t say two people are in love if they are having sex thrice a day.. But Best part is understanding!! There are couples who come out of their room (adjusting there fits)… with phone on their ears.. while talking to their gf/bf (permanent one.. )… guy goes to one corner ..gal on another…then again back to room.. no questions asked!! This is called professionalism!!

We often have discussion over this PR thngy..But...there is a problem with me.. I can’t talk just for de heck of it.. I just talk to those whom I like in some manner.. Its not like I’av any air of arrogance or I am shy or any such thin…but at least your frequency should match..I feel you always walk alone..then why to expect from others? You don’t take decisions with options starting with… if he/if she..

Yeah!! Few relations are worth.. n they are by your side irrespective of situations.. but they are not this hi/bye types professional PRs…


Sometimes I think .. I should also talk to few more guys in our batch.. make some so called PRs.. but then I think.. I’av some very good friends and …I am better this way only… life is good living at your own terms!!

Finding Neverland..

I dream of Jeanie used to be the favorite serial of mine when I was in 5th standard. One blink of eyes and you are back to the past. I wished to have one such Jeanie to pass my exams. X-mas eve used to be the most awaited day at that time. Mom fooled us for years giving gifts in Santa’s red socks. We wrote demands one day in advance in a piece of paper n then used to keep it in the small temple in our verandah. I never understood the connection between temple n Santa but Mom said it is the same thing. There is only one God… just the ways to remember him are different. I believed her.

Now, neither I dream of Jeanie excites me nor X-mas eve gives me an adrenaline rush. Sometimes I think what is changed in me? Why don’t I feel excited in any of the damn thing? When I directed n acted in plays, “expressionless” was the word I used to call to the actors who didn’t act properly. Fuck ‘ol ..Now I can use the most hated word for any theatre person to myself.. that too in real life.. Expressions are lost somewhere .. Somewhere in the journey of life they fade into oblivion..

I still remember when we bunked school 7 days in a row for a cricket tournament.. We got suspended for a month from school and our pocket money got suspended for two months.. now I don even feel like going to the field. Yeah! I also had a collection of comic books ..some 1000+ comics were there in my library . There was a shopkeeper in a comic store. He never gave me proper time to search to add masterpieces in my library. He even denied giving comics in my hand before the purchase. I always believed in…HAR GALTI KI SAZA HOTI HAI..So I stole some 10 comic from his stall with the help of a friend.. Those were the days.. that sweet smile of my school time crush was more exciting as compared to fucking a hot babe now..

Neutrality z de present state of being…I hope its just a passing phase.. Now I am eagerly waitin for my summer training…to be in the company of my coll time frens …

I watched Finding Neverland few days back and I was back to the past for two hours…Movie covers a short period of the life of Sir James Matthew Barrie (the writer), between the release of his last play and his classic masterpiece Peter Pan. Best part was seeing how the people and events around the author have inspired the play, and afterwards, how the play has affected them (Sylvia, her children, her mother and even an audience of all ages...) it makes you realize that even though the story of Peter Pan seems simple, it is rich with symbolisms and metaphors.

The author strongly believed that the power of imagination can overcome age, sickness and death, and he tried to pass it on to everyone, but most importantly to the people he cared about (when he showed Sylvia Neverland)…Depp ,Winslet n de kids are awesome…Now I want to read “The man who was Peter pan”…

Movie leaves few questions left unsaid.. But It gives a hope…n I juz watched an episode of I dream of Jeanie…

India and Communal Riots...

Few days back I watched Parzania with my engg time friends …though I wasn’t in mood of watching any serious movie but its not easy to get tickets of any new English flick or any good romantic movie on Saturdays in Pune… and all of us are lazy enough to call up in morning for tele booking .. So having no other option left to pass time till 11 in night we entered E-Square.. One of ma friend was like “Now this z the best thing we could do before going to a disc.. Can’t we go to any where else??” but thanks to Ms NO.. She wasn’t in mood to travel…Ms NO is girlfriend of one of my friend…she has got only one reply for any damn question. NO…….

Wanna have burger?? NO… its not good here

How about coffee in Mac D? NO… they serve bournvita in cup of coffee

Pizza?? NO… Pizza in Pune sux!!

You think I am exaggerating?? But I am not…she just knows one word…NO.. at least every sentence of hers starts with a NO.. you could be thinking …How there relation started if she replies just in NO…so there is a story behind the only YES of her life.. My friend is a shy guy so straight forward proposal was out of the question.. anyhow he managed her e-mail id.. mailed her some 10-12 times asking her for a date… told her where he used to stand in canteen of their office to get a glimpse of her.. and other regular flirting stuffs.. but de reply he always got was just a simple NO… Now you must be thinking whats strange in this… this is the most probable reply from any gal…but strange is the logic why she accepted her proposal… guy is 6+ with smart looks and decent demeanor …he has got a good reputation in their company.. many of her friends are over him…but all this wasn’t the reason she said the only YES of her life.. she accepted her proposal as he was the first person to wish her HAPPY BUDDAY …now what kinda logic is this I wasn’t able to understand but she very proudly narrates their love story and then the turning point HAPPY BUDDAY…what if the poor guy gets late by few seconds.. What if he felt like going to loo at 12??

Yeah.. sorry from diverting from the topic.. So Ms NO’s another NO made us to watch Parzania .. Somehow I feel most of the right decisions of mine are made after having no other option left.. this is the tragedy of my life.. I always want to do things as I wish to but most of the times I end up doing something else.. something I never wished to… engineering …mba …all of my old affairs…I never wanted to get myself involved in any of them.. So I have changed my view towards looking at things …now I believe in everything happens for a good reason.. Coming back to the movie…

I had already written in my previous entries.. I don’t like narrating stories or giving my expert reviews on movies…as I like most of the movies and I don’t watch movies for finding loose ends or appreciating the story line or direction but still there are movies which left an impact…Parzania was one of them..

Gujarat Riots

Godhra witnessed one of the brutal acts of humanity in Gandhi’s very own state Gujarat. Violence first started with burning a train compartment at Godhra station killing 58 Hindus… so called REASON: This particular incident was instigated by a Muslim mob in retaliation for the Hindus expressing their support for a Ram Mandir in ram janmabhoomi.( Is this reason so intense that one can burn 58 innocent souls alive???)

Post effect:

The images from the train burning were broadcast in print as well as the electronic media, especially in local Gujarati language newspapers. The Chief Minister of the BJP ruled state, Narendra Modi ordered a state funeral for the deceased in the train burning incident. The timings of the arrival of the dead bodies to the state capital Ahmedabad were advertised on the radio may have contributed to a very large turnout of people in an already charged atmosphere. Modi blamed the Pakistani secret service Inter Services Intelligence behind the incident. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad issued a call for a peaceful statewide bandh on February 28, 2002. That bandh was later supported by the ruling BJP government.

Attacks on Muslims

A senior member of the BJP said that for two days the party told its cadres "you can settle your account." By that, he meant take revenge for the attack on a train by a Muslim mob, which sparked off the violence in Ahmedabad and elsewhere in the state. Most of the press reported that the police did nothing to stop the violence in the early days. In one of the camps where some of the tens of thousands of Muslim refugees fleeing from the clashes were living, refugees said time and time again that the police had taken part in the rioting. Some refugees also alleged that BJP legislators had been involved too.Police inaction and BJP encouragement might account for the size of the mobs but it doesn't explain their barbarity, particularly raping women and burning the victims.

Nobody had any explanation for that.

Attacks on Hindus

In September 2002, at least 29 people were killed when suspected Islamic fundamentalist gunmen engaged in the Akshardham Temple attack in the city of Gandhinagar in Gujarat. The Pakistani ISI and Islamic terrorist group Lashkar-e-Toiba were accused of supporting the terrorists, but they have denied this accusation.Over ten thousand Hindus were made homeless as a result of the Gujarat violence. In several residential areas, Hindus were targeted following calls for retaliation. After looting the Hindu homes, they threw kerosene on the roofs and ignited their houses. According to one Hindu who lived through the violence.

Role of Government and Police

The Modi led state government was reprimanded at various levels including the National Parliament, Supreme Court and internationally. It was observed that the Gujarat government referred to the death of 58 people in the Godhra train episode as carnage while those post Godhra events, where at least 1000 perished were referred to as disturbances seen as an effort to pass on the subsequent deaths as a natural reaction to Godhra Train incident.

Casualties-

Gujarati Muslims killed : 790 dead

Gujarati Hindus killed : 254 dead

Aftermath

The Indian government's compensation policies offered 200,000 rupees for families with dead members on the train and 100,000 rupees for families who had relatives die in the riots.

But can any sum of money turn back the time?? we all know what answer z…Those orphans are never going to see de faces of their parents again…those widows ‘ll never be able to live the normal life.. Those mothers ‘ll never be able to kiss the forehead of the ones they’ve loved most in their life… they all ‘ll feel equal pain irrespective of the language of their prayers ..Unlike the opposite directions they face while remembering their gods they ‘ll feel same direction of sorrow…

Its not just Gujarat riots or Anti Sikh riots of 1984 or Mumbai bomb blasts of 1993 and 2006…we have every single time proved how faithful are we for our religion.. but what we every time forgets is we are human first.. and we belong to any religion only if we can call ourselves human.. Dogs and cats don’t have any religion.. pardon me!! for the wrong comparison.. even dogs and cats are better than us they don’t ask question before fighting … “whether that dog’s name is tommy singh or tommy khan?”

Mahatma Gandhi, father of our nation derived great moral strength from Bhagavad gita, which is evident in his words:

"The Geeta is the universal mother. I find a solace in the Bhagavadgeeta that I miss even in the Sermon on the Mount. When disappointment stares me in the face and all alone I see not one ray of light, I go back to the Bhagavad Gita. I find a verse here and a verse there, and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of overwhelming tragedies - and my life has been full of external tragedies - and if they have left no visible or indelible scar on me, I owe it all to the teaching of Bhagavad Gita."

Gandhi jee could have found inspiration in Gita for fighting every single problem he encountered in his life but in any of the verses he couldn’t have got a mildest hint for hating other religions.

Muhammad often retreated to Mount Hira near Mecca. Islamic tradition holds that the angel Gabriel began communicating with him here in the year 610 and commanded Muhammad to recite the following verses:

Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created- Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,- He Who taught (the use of) the pen,- Taught man that which he knew not.

Only ALMIGHTY is creator in any religion…then who are we to destroy his most beautiful creation…

I heard few of my Hindu friends favoring the mob attack on Muslims after Godhra incident as it was necessary to redeem the pride of Hindus…same feeling was of few Muslims after the attacks on a Muslim majority Chawl in Mumbai…then happened Mumbai Bomb Blasts of 93…leaving few hundred corpses of both the religions…but 2 things were common in all of ‘em…they all were INDIANS and COMMON MEN…Neither the politicians were killed nor does the riches gt injured…. Does these kind of attacks are planned by common men of any religion??? What do you expect from someone who doesn’t even have time to come out of the web of their own problems…they are just sufferers irrespective of the religion they follow…

We all must have recited these lines many times…

Jana gana mana adhinayaka, jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha
Dravida Utkala Banga
Vindhya Himachal Yamuna Ganga
Uchchhala Jaladhi taranga.
Tava shubha name jage,
Tava shubha ashisha mage,
Gahe tava jaya gatha,
Jana gana mangala dayaka jaya he
Bharata bhagya vidhata.
Jaya he, Jaya he, Jaya he,
Jaya jaya jaya, jaya he!

What does these lines means?? Why did we used to recite these lines every morning in our school time?? Since school days we are taught INDIA is our mother land..but its not just about blindly repeating these lines.. have you ever gave a thought over the message?? I have even met people who don’t know our mother tongue properly.. so for those brothers n sisters of mine…This time just don’t read National Anthem of yours but try to feel the energy generated by the most pious lines I’ve ever gone through…

Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people,
dispenser of India's destiny.
Thy name rouses the hearts of Punjab, Sindh, Gujarat, the Maratha country,
in the Dravida country, Utkala (Orissa) and Bengal;
It echoes in the hills of the Vindhyas and Himalayas,
it mingles in the rhapsodies of the pure waters Jamuna and the Ganges.
They chant only thy name,
they seek only thy blessings,
They sing only thy praise.
The saving of all people waits in thy hand,
thou dispenser of India's destiny.
Victory, Victory, Victory, Victory to thee.

Thnx to wikipedia for few valuable informations..

MBA

I was never a studious student at any point of my educational life.. but this MBA has given new heights to my laziness towards studies ..my routine ltf- 2-4 movies a day, 4-7 trips to pub a week, 1-2 hours of basket ball a day, 20-25 clicks on refresh button in orkut to check new messages, 10-15 clicks a day on www. .blogspot.com/ to see if she has written any new post or replied to any anonymous comment of mine. Its not like we don’t have anything to do.. Most of my batch mates are busy in value addition (its the term they use) processes like case studies, committees (there are too many .. I don even know names of all of them).. few really ambitious guys are doing courses like CFA , APICS ,NCFM etc etc.. all this wasn’t my cup of tea but I respected the fact that people are focused.. and one day I found one of the self assumed intellects came to Manni bhai’s room ..he was asking his opinions on different courses.. he wanted to do de best course available in market to label on his CV.. okk.. I mean its fine.. but best part was his options covered whole of the universe.. he didn’t believe in any boundaries of finance scm or marketing.. if he could be anyhow convinced salsa or theatres ‘ll assure him a good CV point then he‘ll be doing their certifications too..

Dubey jee gave NCFM .. and half of the batch followed him.. now when Tanuj cleared CFA level -1 atleast 20 more are writing CFA this June.. We are very patriotic. We don’t believe in going against traditions. Bhed chaal is one of the oldest traditions of India. We don’t have specific interests. Few years back every Mom N Dad in India used too see future engineer, doctor or IAS in their newly born offspring …Now due to increasing number of unemployed and low paid Engineers and doctors dreams are changed…. Now MBA is dream of India… But as Aamir said in Rang de Basanti no country is perfect… India too has few who don’t follow traditions and thats why Mumbai is full of struggling Shahrukhs and Aishwaryas…they too follow bhedchaal but roots don’t originate 4m their parents in this case…

Yeah..telling more bout our coll..we have a stupid IP messenger… it serves as local news channel.. you can get every information over here..

people share their emotions with their status messages like

~I can’t handle this anymore~
~enjoying life~
~I want to be remembered after 1000 yrs of my death~

then there are informative ones
~go for CAIRN IPO~ ( after the reports of IPO being under subscribed)

few coded status messages are also there to use your brain and crack them

~kbc tritya:kaun banegi chachijaan~
~killi nailed someone. guess who is it??~

suggestions like

~sab mohmaya sab kapat~
~ nothing is impossible~

you can get personal informations like

~hair raising~
~sim changed~

n u can show ur mahanta too with messgs like

~teach kids thru rotaract~

you can check this post for further details on ip messenger.. http://menmyken.blogspot.com/2006/12/tere-mere-status-message.html

Sometimes its really funny.. today there was a long discussion over whether fin assignment should be submitted in printout or handwritten.. best part was one of de generous souls has circulated the solution …all what has to be done was to take printout or copy 12 pages n submit it... discussion started with logical facts like…same 12 pages of printout of 150 students will look odd… counter attack.. “prof wont check the assignments ..he haven’t even checked the last 2 modules examination paper”.. then came threat of CR “you‘ll be responsible for your own grades in case you submit it in printout” …when one of us felt like it wont be possible to make a common decision a mesg came “handwritten” …counter attack “printout printout printout” …most of the guys have 2-3 years of work ex …few of them are married… anyways … may be this is called fighting instincts…

I am not very regular in attending classes.. there is a logical fact behind…bhartiya sabhyta … Buddha says neutrality z first step towards salvation.. one should not be excited by any good outcome nor should he feel depressed by negative happenings. I ask to myself.. “What ‘ll attendance give you?”.. good impression …few extra numbers.. “what ‘ll these give you?” good job… “what a good job means?”.. handsome sum of money … “what ‘ll few extra bucks give you?”… added sense of happiness… but thats a hurdle in achieving salvation…one should be neutral…knowledge isn’t the factor which came as reply coz attending a class means to me.. “virtual trip to different places while sitting in my chair” or the best productive thing I can do in class is to think something creative and philosophical…three things always give me the feel to think something new n creative…

1- View from window of a train

2- Loo

3- Faces of Prof while sitting in lecture

That why most of the times I run short of attendance.. teachers are of three types..

First type:

Type- Moderate

Qualities-have impression of being very strict

they think there isn’t anything they can do of such stupid students. They try to humiliate students infront of the class.. give threats…some of them give less marks to defaulters.. but they don have any concern with changing the attitude or belief of culprits.

Second type:

Type –Good

Qualities- harmless, humble, intelligent

They don care about the attendance…occasionally take attendance that too in pages (most of which don make any impact on attendance register) don’t have time for any other thing than lecture

Third type:

Type –Dangerous

Qualities- Duty bound, punctual

They take every class with new enthu… take attendance very seriously (some of them takes it two times..) they think its their responsibility to give the right direction to students.

Our economics teacher falls in third category…n one very fine lazy evening Ravi gave me her mesg that if I am interested in giving module exam she wants to see me in half an hour.. I didn’t knew she could go to such cheap tactics otherwise I may not have ignored her last three calls.. I was thinking she must be busy enough in other stuffs .after all profs too have other things to do but I was wrong she too had as much faaltu tym as I have…

First question she fired was .. “Do you know how many attendance u have??” …I didn’t knew she expected us to count attendance… I followed very old principle of mine of keeping my mouth shut… “13 out of 24”she said… I was shocked…I didn’t attend 13 classes of hers.. Proxy Zindabaad!! I felt like telling her that it was my best attendance in 8 subjects but kept my mouth shut.. “Sorry but I can’t allow u to sit in module exam”.. I didn’t have any other option but too give some stupid excuse.. I just hate telling lie but this world makes you corrupt.. it doesn’t leave any other option but….

“I wasn’t well.. So I went to my place..” . “For how many days?” … she asked.. “2 weeks” I replied… “ But there are just 4 classes in 2 weeks.. what bout other 7??”

silence for few seconds…Then she started giving lectures .. I had lots of excuses but didn’t said anything… actually management z bout catering ego of others for your own good…I followed de golden rule…but she had loads of it I guess…so I had to interrupt ..

“But…Mam! I attended all de classes after that. You can check your attendance register..” . “I had just 2 classes after that…that too was taken by guest faculty..” she said while checking her attendance register…I didn’t knew she was going to really check otherwise I shouldn’t have given her the idea.. “He still didn’t gave me the attendance list n I know you mustn’t have attended his classes too” she said… “mam!! I did..” I replied..

“what was his name?” I didn’t even know names of all of my batch mates .. n why de hell I was going to remember his name… “I didn’t paid attention to his name” I replied..

“I knew you haven’t attended the class” she said… “mam!! I did..just I don remem the name…but I remem he was wearing spects” I replied.. “very smart!! Nowadays every next profs have spects…” she gave her smart answer with expression of self praise… “what all he explained today??” that was the least expected question during your post graduation… I didn’t even remember the topic… “sorry mam.. I didn’t remem..” . I wasn’t even able to prove my innocence that this time I didn’t lie.. I attended that bogus class for 3 hours at the opportunity cost of watching “enemy at the gates”. Such incidences made you feel. This world is not for innocent people …n while all of my batchmates were studying for module exams I was doing assignment before 2 days of exams… critical analysis of “Fiscal policy and monetary policy of India in last year keeping multiplier effect and accelerator effect in count”. It took 9 precious hours of mine just b4 exams… this z the only value addition I m getting here in my MBA..meeting the deadlines..

Maximum city!!

I was damn sure I’ll be sleeping through all de precious days of winter vacations instead of going through stupid novels as I usually do in my vacations .After five long days of module exams my cozy bed at my very own room was all I was dreaming about. Though its not mine now as it is occupied by my younger brother n fluffy but still I prefer to sleep in the room which envelopes secrets of my school life.. Being in that room brings all the sweet n spicy memories back. My place being closest (to the school) n safest (due to same timing of mom’s office as of our school) was our joint after bunking the school. Be it the play practice or dance party or love birds meet that room gave us the place whenever we needed. I am very attached to that room. I have studied whole nights in that room for my board exams after making my mom pride by passing two subjects(English and Hindi) out of five in pre-boards, my first date, first porn all happened in that room only.

With dreams of sleeping comfortably in the holy room I was about to leave the hostel but thought of 33 hours journey made me land into Harsha’s room. I asked him for any non-fiction book n first time it took 6 days to complete a book of less than 600 pages. No wonder it took Suketu Mehta 7 years to complete the book its characters sometimes came outside the book in front of me as real characters I can correlate too. Its richly varied cast of characters, drama n minute details made the writer’s quest to plumb both the grimy depths and radiant heights of the Mumbai a brilliantly illuminating portrait of the megalopolis and its people in the form of MAXIMUM CITY- Bombay Lost And Found.

He describes underworld, politics, cops, media, bar dancers n common mob of Mumbai through stories of his characters n then shows how they r interrelated . Book is divided into chapters, all of them are interesting and exciting… especially I liked powertoni and a cop’s life…here Mehta describes about riots of 92-93 through the characters who were really involved in riots.. Shivsena ,Dawood and Chota Rajan’s involvement n their deeds during that period and sufferings of common man. Organized crime and role of politicians and cops is very nicely described. Bar dancer’s life is also an interesting part of the book. Every character lives to extremities but being in limits of character.. that’s the best part of it.. Characters are so realistic that you can correlate them with the characters in your life but they are not common.. Mehta didn’t write his book as normal non-fiction ..characters speaks not the author…he haven’t preached sin and virtue ,good and bad …every character lives his own life and does what he likes and have his own reasons for his demeanor. I wish to write about the whole book but that won’t be possible ..reading the book will be a better option for you…you’ll be investing your time on something good..

Whenever Jain (my best friend) and I watched movies or read books we used to imagine the story as ours and then we give the name of characters to our friends... Most of the time Atul gets the best and interesting characters.. can’t remember all of them but lemme try to recall few …yeah…

Kaali ( Ajay devgan in Kaal)

Electra( main female lead don remem the name)

Daredevil(x-men)

Hulk ( hulk )

Trinity (Matrix)

We didn’t care much about female or male leads while Atul’s casting.. we gave him the important n stylish roles.. I never understood why he didn’t like this naming stuff.. He was the fastest rider in our college so we made him Trinity , he was most energetic so we made him Electra but everytime he was given the female lead he starts arguing but we were very choosy about casting…we never compromised with characters ..so everytime he was given the female lead he wanted to made us watch a new movie asap…I think I am diverting from the topic…yeah …point I want to say is situations n characters we see in movies or read in books exist somewhere near us(though not in Atul’s case ….we never expected him to cross 7-8 buildings in a single jump like Hulk)…Maximum City made me remind many such incidents and characters…lemme share one with you…names are changed for anonymity(Though its of no use as those who were there with me will guess the characters with real ones and those who don’t know it doesn’t matter who is who)but still my filmy knowledge says names should be changed..

Story starts in class 11^th…Yash Thakur , Rahul Saxena and Rehaan Khan were good friends . They didn’t have anything in common but friendship doesn’t need common interests and habits…How they become friends is also a strange story…Rahul was a silent n shy student when he took admission in new school. There were two groups in school Yash’s and Asif’s..I have seen many groups and fights in schooling and college…n there aren’t any different reasons behind these stuffs in any part of the world…ego clashes ,girls, power ,posts are few of the common reasons behind these fightings and groupings.. same was the case here…Yash and Asif were in different sections …they were captains of different house(inter school comptt)…both were good sportsmen...both were good in cultural…all these reasons were enough for the foundation of groupings…when Rahul joined the school asif’s group started ragging him as he was in yash’s section. That was the time Yash and Rehaan came by Rahul’s side not because of anything but because of their own reputation but few months later they were good friends.

Yash was topper of his section and Rehaan anyhow manages to pass if he wasn’t allowed to sit next to Yash . All of the three used to sit together but during class tests they were made to sit separately. Once during Physics test Yash and Rehaan were sitting together .Rehaan was praying may be teacher don’t give attention and by his good luck prof didn’t noticed but that didn’t worked long..soon he was spotted while leaning over Yash’s test copy .Rehaan was sent to sit in the front row in Yasmeen’s seat and she had to come to sit next to Yash. Yasmeen was the only girl Yash didn’t had any interaction with.But same was with everyone. Yasmeen didn’t have a single friend. I guess half of the class haven’t even listened her voice except “present sir” during attendance.

(I am not used of writing in third person so from now onwards .I’ll write in first person as Yash )

It was hardly ten minutes after Rehaan’s substitution with a beautiful gal I heard someone sobbing in very low tone. I didn’t expected to see someone crying due to exams in class 11^th .It was Yasmeen. I generally don’t initiate talks with gals by my own but after seeing her I was tempted to ask coz generally I don’t see gals crying too. But she didn’t replied and continued crying. As if I care..I am not used of such behavior. First of all I ..Yash Thakur asked a gal something ..that too out of humanity and she didn’t replied. I started scribbling again n she started sobbing again. Five minutes…Ten minutes…sobbing didn’t came to a stop. I didn’t want to but somehow I asked her again but this time a simple question or rather a solution in itself. I opened my copy n offered her to see whatever she wants to n copy it. But fools are fools…you can’t help them as they don’t want to help theirselves.. all what she has to do was to use her eyes but I think they were busy dropping tears.. n she didn’t want to act against law of inertia..

Days passed… I didn’t knew why but I started observing her.. She was the simplest gal I have ever seen. White full shirt n knee length grey skirt made her look smart but that was all illusion of her school dress…but she was different…very different indeed.. quiet n reserved…she didn’t had a single friend rather I never saw her speaking to anyone ..not even the important issues.. once we got a group assignment…I was observing her that what will she do now…she didn’t asked anyone and next day she was the only person who has completed the assignment assigned for a group of 5 students alone. She had an invisible coat around her which distinguished her from a normal gal.. If I haven’t seen her sobbing I could be having very snobbish image of hers.. She was a mystery for me.. Her big green eyes n flawless skin made her look heavenly beautiful. sometimes I wander why guys don’t try to talk to her…I thought discussing about her with Rehaan and Rahul but they’ll think it in other way so I didn’t tried …it wasn’t attraction or anything.. It was just the curiosity …a quest of an inquisitive mind…

I decided to talk to her…I came early in class n took the seat next to her. It was awkward as everyone knows I sit with Rahul and Rehaan …and she used to sit with two gals. Preity saw me sitting in her place n I requested her to take my seat and gave logic as I am not able to concentrate on lectures due to rehaan. Yasmeen entered in class and took the seat without even looking at me. It was embarrassing as Rehaan started teasing me as gaddar n dhokebaaz and whole class was looking at me n Yasmeen. I thought she too must be feeling odd but she was reading her book. (She was alone even in crowd because of her invisible coat). I wanted to start a conversation but I didn’t. My seat was changed permanently and I noticed even I was becoming quiet and quiet …most of my time was spent in thinking about her…

Weeks passed but we didn’t even say hi to each other. I was confused how to start a conversation till she once asked me for a pen. It was the perfect occasion to start a conversation. “Can I ask you a question if you don’t mind?” First time her green eyes made contact with mine. she didn’t replied in yes or no but her eyes were affirmative for listening to me. “Why don’t you talk to anyone?”. And first time I listened to her voice… “It isn’t so but there is nothing to talk about”. I didn’t understand the logic. Even I am quiet reserved but there are few people whom I can talk to anytime and there is always something to talk about. I gave my logic… “But still I found you never talk. It isn’t necessary to have something really important to talk with someone and in your case you didn’t even talk on important things” then I gave her example of that group assignment. “If I can do that assignment by myself then why to ask for help”…She replied. Come’on what help?? that was a group assignment and was supposed to be done by a group of five .where the hell this help stuff comes from…I thought but didn’t said to her instead I shoot her the next question “And why were you crying that day and when I offered you to copy you didn’t even replied”. She replied… “I wasn’t crying because of that paper”. “then why were you crying??” n then I realized I shouldn’t have asked that question. She just said.. “you asked for one and I replied two of yours.. ” she smiled and professor enters.

That’s how we started talking. We never discussed anything personal nor even usual stuffs like movies, music, sports etc. but subjects and studies. I was the only soul in school she talks to …was the only feeling which gave me the drive to continue talking boring stuffs like studies with her instead of talking about hundred times interesting topics with Rehaan n Rahul. “Nah…it isn’t attraction! Not at all..she is not my types..” that was all I used to reply to Rahul n Rehaan. But she possessed an aura that always made me think about her.

“We had to present a play and a group dance in zonal comptt .Yash ‘ll be looking after play and Asif ‘ll take care of dance” Jacksom mam said in assembly. “I don’t want to take part in all this stuff”.. I said to Rehaan.. “Why?”Rehaan replied. “As I don’t want to.. ” I said to him.. “I know the reason behind but what if this play thing provides you the opportunity to be with her” Rehaan said… “what her?? I am not saying this because of Yasmeen”.. I replied… “See ..I even didn’t took any name…” Rehaan smiled… “But she doesn’t even talk to anyone …she wont take part in play…” I told Rehaan. “Why don’t you try it out once”.

I can’t even call her friend as I can’t talk to her all what I want to..nor did I knew what I want to talk …but still there was something which made me feel close to her…n I feel comfortable in her presence … I think she always knew what was in my mind.. She herself asked very next day whats the problem…and what I want to talk to her… I asked…She just said ‘ll let you know tomorrow. She replied in affirmative and we were acting on that play next day. Practice started….I get very irritated when things don’t go the perfect way… and sometimes I scolded the team members being the director of play but everytime I said something to her ..She used to just smile… that smile was so innocent n sweet…till that time I knew it was not just curiosity or inquisitiveness …but her presence was something which was becoming an essential part of my life....

Play went fine..We won the first prized n she acted so well… it was hard to believe that was her first play…we become good friends after that… I never bring lunch as I felt very odd eating like small kids 4m lunch box… but she made me share her lunch everyday n most of the times I was forced to eat whole of it… I think I was very obstinate b4 meeting her but she was the one n only one who could command me …she didn’t used to ask me but order me whatever she wants …I didn’t followed most of her advices for studies n my well being but that was because I love her scolding n preaching …

But things don’t go the way as we wish to most of the times…same was our story… she was absent for more than a week…I thought to call her up..But didn’t had her number…I asked her once.. she said it wasn’t possible …but now I didn’t had any option…I was worried.. I had good contact with office attendant n he gave me her number by looking in office register in exchange of a pack of wills navy cut. I tried the number… a male voice came n I put the receiver down. Then Rahul dialed up n pretended as wrong number listening again to a male voice . We went to Rehaan’s place that evening as she lived in the same colony. For the first time I saw her fort… that wasn’t a normal house from any angle…4 armed guards were standing at the main gate.. then we watched 12 more in her compound. People were standing in queue to get into her place…I got it in few minutes only that it wont be possible to meet her at her place. Rehaan told me her father was an Ex-MLA n now he z holding very important post in a political party.

Few more days passed…I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything.. It was getting worse.. all I could think of was Yasmeen only.. She came back to school after 2 weeks..

“Where have you been?”.. I asked .. “I was out of station”.. she replied.. “Don’t you think you should have told me …”…no reply… I repeated the question…no reply… suddenly I found everyone staring at us… “You don’t have any right to scream at me”…I got my answer…I didn’t attended class n went back to my place…

I didn’t felt like going to school. It was so bad of her…how could be someone so rude?? I was not feeling well… I didn’t went for sessional tests…Rehaan n Rahul came to my place.. I told them not to discuss or ask me anything that I don’t want to.. and they didn’t started any such topic.. we watched a movie.. though I didn’t get anything of it..but still that was the better way to avoid awkwardness of sitting silent…Last thing Rehaan told me before leaving was.. “She didn’t gave any of the tests even after coming to school..better you come to school tomorrow”.. He walked away before I could have asked something..

I went to school next day…..She came n asked me to bunk the class…n I am very bad at saying no… it was the first time we were bunking class…we started walking towards my place…I found we were holding hands…can still feel the warmth of that touch…tears were rolling out of those green eyes… “Sorry” she said n that made me feel guilty…that’s the best part of gals… they made you feel guilty though you not really are… we spent next six hours in my room …she kept on talking n I kept on listening…..neither she said anything nor did I but till that time I knew it wasn’t just curiosity…

We spent next one month at my place instead of going to school. There wasn’t any new topic to talk about nor I can say those talks very interesting but being with her was the only thing I could think of.. most of the times I didn’t even listened to her talks ….she too knew that…she kept asking me questions to confirm whether I am listening to her properly or not…n I used to reply I like the voice not the content .. She made me learn dancing… we danced for hours....We used to dance on every type of music…even on idiotic numbers like “aish to kar” of devang Patel.. She was a great dancer … she used to cook and made me eat by her hands ..those were the days I can’t ever forget in my life….everything was just perfect…

And one day I got a call 4m Rehaan to inform that Yasmeen’s brother is in school to look for her n me with 10 jeeps filled with university students...n I didn’t knew at that time… next few days were going to change everything..

To be continued…